The op tempo over the last decade-plus has been something that our military has never seen. It also means that just about everyone who has put on a uniform has deployed to some far off land somewhere on the globe at some point in their careers.
Before you deploy, you go through all the checks and evaluations and train-ups to get ready in a military sense for deployment. All of that is very important no doubt. The military does a good job getting people ready to deploy…from a military perspective. What the military often fails to tell people, probably because some of these things are so obvious as to not make anyone think they need to be explained, are the things you shouldn’t be doing before you deploy. We all know people who have fallen into a pre-deployment trap of one kind or another.
After another very scientific and very formal survey of Grunt Style veterans, we have come up with some of the more common traps that we have seen our fellow warriors fall into before a deployment.
Here are the 4 things not to do before a deployment:
#4 Do Not Give That Stripper Power of Attorney Over Your Accounts
I know. She loves you. What you have is totally real bro. She’s really in law school right now and just works on the pole to pay for it. You know how it is. Plus she’s like wicked smart and totally good with money so giving her power of attorney over your bank accounts is a great idea because she is going to help you make sure all of your bills are getting paid while you are gone. It’s a great idea. I’m sure nothing will go wrong with this plan.
#3 Do Not Go Buy a Car
But dude, we are getting hazard pay for the next 14 months and guess what? Somehow the dealership worked it out so my payments are going to be pretty much exactly what our hazard pay is so really, I’m not buying the car, the military is buying this car for me. Never mind the fact that you are going to have a car payment for the next 78 months on a 30% interest loan. It’s totally just about the monthly payment bro.
#2 Do Not Forget to Wipe Your Hard Drive
I don’t think this one can be stressed enough. Before you leave for deployment, make sure that your hard drive is full of nothing but videos of kittens and pictures of rainbows. If the unthinkable happens, you don’t want your family getting your computer that shows just how much of a porn hub guru you are. If you take your computer with you on deployment, make sure that at least 2 of your buddies have very clear instructions as to the location of your computer along with detailed instructions on the destruction of the hard drive.
#1 DO NOT GET MARRIED!!!
Yes. Yours is true love. You are going to be the exception to the rule that so many of us have seen get played out deployment after deployment. Your significant other isn’t like the rest. They are going to be true and loyal. Sure, you’ve only dated a few weeks, but when you know, you know. I know the 1SG is telling me that they don’t think this is a good idea but what do they know? They are so old they don’t remember being in love like I’m in love. My spouse will be holding down the home front for me while I’m away and all the haters can just keep hating. Jody is for the other guy.
Those are 4 things not to do before a deployment as voted on in the very scientific and very accurate and formal Grunt Style veterans poll. You can take this list to the bank (as long as your stripper girlfriend with POA hasn’t cleaned out your accounts).
Be sure to tell us some of the things you would caution against doing before a military member deploys. There are certainly many more mistakes people make leading up to their deployment and we want to know what they are.
Read more military articles here.