5 Military habits that don’t go away
Categories: Outdoor
Illustrations by Carl Barker
Everyone knows that being in the military is all about conditioning. It’s a re-wiring of our “nasty ass” civilian brains in order to mold us into the hard charging killing machines that we are. From day one, we are told that everything we’ve come to know about our old lives is a lie. We are weak, flimsy wads of clay that get chiseled into the rock hard warriors that we all grew up watching on our favorite action flicks. Some things just don’t go away though. After our EAS date comes and goes, and our DD214s get worn and tattered, there are still some remaining habits that remain engrained in our DNA. These are the remnants of our military lives, and we wear them like badges of honor. An added bonus is that civilians recognize these things too, and say things like “Did you serve in the military?” Which is invariably followed by “Thanks for your service!” That part never gets old.
5. Don’t talk on your ass
We’ve all felt the awkwardness of someone starting a conversation with you while you’re seated. The subject matter doesn’t rate standing up for, nor does it seem like the situation warrants it in any way. “Hey Chuck, we’re gonna go grab sandwiches. Can we get you something?” While you’re thinking about it, you slowly rise from your chair and pretend you needed to get up anyway. You straighten the poster on the wall by your desk as if it’s been bothering you all day. Now you can continue the mundane conversation at eye level as our founding fathers intended us to. It feels right. We just don’t talk to people on our asses. It’s uncomfortable, and no one will understand it just the way we do. Of course, if we stand up every time someone addresses us, we always get the obligatory “You don’t have to stand up.” Yes. Yes I do.
4. Using acronyms for everything
When you EAS or PCS and move to a different AO, you’ve got to remember that the GP doesn’t understand the SOP of military communications. Even when people ask what you did when you were in, and you respond what your MOS was, you’ve lost them before you even started to answer their question. We’ve spent our whole military careers learning how to shorten every little thing into a string of unintelligible letters for every action, location, question, answer, and object. And if you only have to convey a single letter to someone, we’ve lengthened that into words. i.e. alpha, bravo, charlie, etc. Efficiency is key, people!
3. Waking up early
This one is a 50/50. Every other prior service veteran will tell you the same story, in almost the same way, as if they’ve all learned it from the kind of script they give to telemarketers who need to hit all the bullet points in their pitch. “I don’t know what it is, man. I try to sleep in, but no matter what, I’m always up at 0500 every morning. Even if I’m up late the night before, I just can’t sleep late. I tried to sleep in this Saturday, but I ended up just laying in bed staring at the ceiling.” This story has very few variations. They tell it every time like they’re just stumped as to why it keeps happening, as if it’s been this way for just a few weeks. The truth is that they’re proud. It says to the world I’ve got military running through my veins. It’s a part of me, and I’m a born veteran. And, it is in fact something to be proud of. Good for you. The rest of us, however, could sleep through a 36 hour fire fight.
2. Calling everyone Sir or Ma’am
We teach our kids to be courteous and polite until they forget somewhere around high school, and we are once again given this crash course in addressing people from the very moment we sign our names on that dotted line. The second time, it sticks forever. People are now forever sir or ma’am to us. We know it makes all of you civilians feel old, but it’s just a part of who we’ve all been molded into now. “Do you want fries with that?” “Yes Sir!” Every situation, and almost every type of person is on the receiving end of total, squared away, boot-ass politeness.
1. LOUD NOISES
For all of the combat veterans out there in the civilian world, we all know the annoyance of involuntarily jumping at any surprising loud noise. Some have it worse than others. Fireworks, slamming doors, dropping books on the floor, or a car backfiring. These things evoke at least a solid three seconds of heart racing, involuntary muscle spasms, or a good old fashioned ass clenching. Who doesn’t love a good ol’ jump start every now and again. It builds character!
Yes, Indeed! My Mother is the oldest child of _two_ WWII Marines, Mawmaw was a Lt and Pawpaw was a Gunny. I was law enforcement and now the fire service… I Sir and Ma’am _everyone._ I can not help myself… I was not personally in the military myself… And yes, I forgot for a few of my teen years.
Thank you folks at Grunt style for your service.
That is so very true. My father was career Army and served in Vietnam and Korea. I served and now my sons are going to serve. My oldest is going to fly for the Air Force and my youngest wants to attend Annapolis and become a Seal. Since I have been out I have served as a Police Officer and on SWAT for 15 of my 30 years. I retire in 163 days. Looking forward to my next career. It is our family’s tradition to serve our country..
You forgot short hair…. i’ve been out 20+ years and i i keep it short…. it’s almost instinctive at the barber
Well I definitely enjoyed reading it. This article procured by you is very helpful for good planning.
Here’s another one —
The ability to get dressed in total darkness without making a sound.
I’m still very organized in thought and in project planning. I also can think on the fly and change strategies as problems arise. I also run my camping trips like an”op”. I still police call everything and stay off my grass!!!
Military traits are some of those things you can never forget and just when you think you do they creep back in. At least for me they do.
I cannot get out of the habit of calling everything a Puke or Knucklehead or referring to people as a Private. Such as calling the Mail guy the Mail Private.
This also extends to changing the names of things. For example calling Wal-Mart the Bird Store or Bird Shop. Taco Bell is Taco Puke. Golden Corral is Golden Puke. Or I shorten Wal-Mart to just it The Chicken. List goes on and on. Another one is Publix is the Pubic Hair Store. Etc.
A couple of these I do not know about. “Waking up early” for one. I was in for 12 years and now, I can sleep the day away and despise getting up early. In fact, I never seem to get any sleep, I always wake up tired. Of course, if there is something to do or I am out camping, I am the first one up and moving instantly.
Also the “standing up when talking” thing. I have no trouble sitting down when talking to some puke civilian. They do not rate me standing up for them. I’ll sit there and slurp my coffee while ignoring them. Other vets? Hell, I am totally relaxed with those guys, stand, sit, whatever.
I’ll plus one for, you forgot the short hair. Even when I consider my hair “long” people are stunned to hear that I am heading to the barber!
How about stepping off with the left foot or squaring/pivoting turns?
Don’t forget removing your cover indoors.
Everything except number one. I will instantly look where the sound game from, and assess the threat, but I don’t jump out of my skin. There is one you forgot, there is no such thing as a little mistake, mistakes kill.
You forgot the knife hand. My kids love that.
I try to do things in a military manner.I served during Vietnam as a 63C and 63B. I did allow my hair to grow about an inch , but ; off to my barber I went to get it high and tight. I look and feel much better after getting a haircut.The ARMY did a lot for me and don’t know where I would be today if I had not joined in 1972,
How about keeping you Gig Line straight? Also, since I was an Air Force mechanic, If I don’t have a maintenance manual of some sort at hand, I hesitate taking on a repair job. In my day, we had to have a manual open to the page showing the job you were doing and you better be able to point out to QC exactly where in the operation you were. I also use a torque wrench for a lot of things. I feel funny if I don’t take my hat off when entering a building. I often call an older person Sarge.