Basic Training Story #4248
It was the summer time of 2013 and our Drill Sergeants had just picked us up from reception. These drill sergeants have already instilled fear in me, so I do as they demand. They are the ALPHA. They told me to get on their cattle truck. So I did it. I’m trying to do everything right with SPEED & INTENSITY. WE GET TO THE BARRACKS, AND BAM! I WAS APART OF THE MOST F*CKED UP CHAOS ON EARTH!
At least it felt like at the time. However, at this moment, I knew I f*cked UP. Do you know what I’m talking about? That’s right, I’m talking about our shark attack.
After we start doing our shake downs and what not, our DS’s kind of toned it down a hair. My DS puts us at the position of attention. I’m standing in front, I’m standing proud, and I am disciplined. My DS see’s this and puts it to the test. So he pulls out his car keys. HIS DAMN CAR KEYS. And starts tapping his car key on the pull up bar. He does it for 5 minutes.
I gave in, I glanced at it, he SEEN ME GLANCE AT HIS CAR KEYS! So he turned up his DS Stereo and asked me if I wanted to drive! He answered for me,and he gave me his keys. He said “Go ahead pvt, go drive!” So I had to squat, start the car and drive. I “drove,” around the barracks about 10 times. I looked like a rabbit hopping on 1 leg around the barracks. I looked like a retarded tigger preteding to drive an imaginary car and making car noises with my mouth. Because that’s what I was doing.
And there he was, walking next to me as I drove. I had to change gears as I drove. In order to change the gear I had to stick my left leg out to press the clutch, and I never failed. I fell on my ass about 100 f*cking times over that. Moral of the story, this sh*t just happens. Oh, and don’t move your eyes at the position of attention.
Also, who else feels like God puts super powers in their DS badge?