Basic Training Story #4413
Dreaded BCG’s… During 2006 summer at Fort Jackson basic training. While at my eye exam the first week in basic, I looked into a machine at a picture of a hot air balloon with one eye, but when I switched over to the other eye I said… “Somethings wrong with your machine.” One or two clicks later, and the picture became clear… I had no clue I lived with astigmatism for however many years… Thanks Army, I guess…
Soon after that day, I got my birth control glasses and put them on for the first time. Something was very off due to the ground looking like it was up to my chest… Walking around outside looking all kinds of stupid trying to step up to the ground by lifting my feet up to chest level. I probably looked like I was exadurating the Nazi walk without my arm out, while completely believing that was what I had to do to step to the ground. DS B (an air-assault pathfinder) quickly asked me… “What in the flying f*** is wrong with you soldier?” I explained my issue to him, and was instructed not to wear the glasses, but to keep them on me at all times.
Later on at a range in between firing cycles (I can’t explain in more detail because I feel that I shouldn’t describe that training fully), DS B walked up and asked me why I wasn’t wearing my glasses. I reminded him of my situation, but he gave me an order to wear them with some serious doubt on his face. I’m sure he figured I just didn’t want to wear those ugly things. So I put them on and fired five or ten more times (one cycle). The thunderous footsteps got everyone’s attention, and soldiers scrambled to get out of his path.
Stomping on over to me with a quickness came DS B as mad as I ever observed him (at me) in basic. “Put those f*****g things in your pocket, and NEVER use them, or have them on you again! If anyone asks, we didn’t Issue you any!” I had no clue why he was so upset until I got to see my score sheet printout.
Without my BCG’s on I fired 90% to 100%, but the one cycle I fired with them on I shot 60%… my BCG’s are so worthless (for me), I’m going to frame them with that printout as proof of their value to me, right next to the love notes I got from little miss stinky that didn’t shower for nine weeks of basic… I was the only one that would sit within five feet of her due to losing my sense of smell thanks to the flu mist while being allergic to eggs… but that is a story for another time… ~Iceman~