We were nearing the end of our cycle and starting to do dumb sh*t. My buddy and I were ten years older than everyone else and we exploited the sh*t out of it. There was a kid that said he had joined the marines but had failed/dropped out of training. We couldn’t get a straight answer but we think he failed.
He didn’t do laundry, his wall locker smelled like a dead hooker and he got us smoked all the time. Definitely an ASVAB waiver. It took us no time to get him to agree to put icy hot on his balls for $15. We took him into the shower and five of us watched him apply the icy hot. He put it all over his bean bag.
We told him to put it on his asshole and he did. We told him to yank his crank with the icy hot and he did. He was fine for about ten seconds and then his smug smile was quickly replaced with regret and self pity as his asshole, taint, balls and dick started to burn.
You could see his knees get weak and he had to sit down. We were all laughing so hard we were crying. We told him to hang in the shower until it wore off and we headed back into the bay. Then we yelled “at ease!” And yelled to him that the DS was in the bay and wanted to see everyone. He ripped his pants up quick and came walking out of the latrine bow legged and visibly in pain.
We all laughed at him cuz we finally got him back for being a blue falcon.