Never Knew British Drill Sergeants Could Be This Savage
Categories: ASMDSS, Basic Training Story
Yes i am a indeed a British Soldier but i thought you would enjoy my story about a British Drill Sergeant.
It was week 3 in basic training which we call phase one. We had our first full on parade inspection on our PCS (working dress). As budding young soldiers we were all nervous as it was the first time our platoon Sgt was heading up the inspection. Up to that point it was done by our Cpls so some were more nervous than others but as we all stood there perfectly at attention the right hand marker i will call Recruit D sneezed, now that drew the attention of our 4 Cpls who instinctively and with out delay proceeded to tune said Recruit D in on the importance of standing still on parade.
The platoon Sgt a big man 6,5 at least who never really spoke to us before this and seemed like a calm peaceful man began foaming at the mouth shouting at Recruit D to get in the half press up position and left him there wincing for about 5 minutes while he inspected the rest of the platoon our 4 Cpls making sure he did not raise or lower himself by shouting vigorously at him.
Read the below in your best British Accent
When he was done the Platoon Sgt shouted at him to get back up and inspected him last and with the most intimidating bounce we had seen to that day de-briefed him by saying that ” i don’t care what is going on around you or that your weaselly little body thinks its going to explode if you dont sneeze nor do i care if an autistic, gay midget dressed in a corset, stockings and high heels is stood on a stool behind you humping your asshole with a 12 inch rubber fist you will not move on my parade again and that goes for the lot of you now get to the assault course for a beasting (smoking)”
To which our Cpls escorted us at the speed of a thousand gazelles.
Oh how i miss those days
I’ve seen a British Company Sergeant Major in action, and it was awesome to behold from a safe distance. I can’t even imagine what their recruit instructors must be like.
Are you one of the guys that doesn’t move for hours on end
The DS shouts … Why? … he could merely inform you of the error of your ways and leave it at that. The reasoning behind this behaviour is to ensure the recruit remembers and doesn’t repeat his errors and secondly as entertainment for the rest of the Section / Platoon/ Company etc. The use of colourful language is also an attempt to get the recruit to smile or even laugh (a breach of discipline in this scenario) – this is squaddie humour at its very best. I have known many DSgts and to a man, they were the personification of caring, humorous, trustworthy and loyal individuals.