Ok, so I’m a natural smart ass. I make smart ass comments as natural as breathing. I make smart ass comments in my sleep. This is not a good condition to have in basic training. Especially with a drill sergeant like Drill Sergeant P, whose mannerisms basically inspired me to reach new levels of smartassness. Often to the benefit of the development of the muscles, I would need to push Georgia all the way to China.
One particular day, Dull Sergeant P strode up to me during some down time on a range with several other drill sergeants. I realized that this was not going to be good for me, and told myself to try not to make it worse than it had to be.
Drill Sergeant P put the brim of his round brown right up to the bridge of my nose and asked what my MOS was, and I responded “11 Charlie, Drill Sergeant! “
Drill Sergeant P began disparaging 11 Charlies everywhere, and their collective ancestry and I stood there quietly, listening to him rant and going that these works be over soon.
Then Drill Sergeant P said that his MOS was 11 Mike – basically, a Bravo that deploys with a Bradley. He asked me if I knew what an 11 Mike was, and before I could fully engage my brain, these words came out of my mouth: “yes Drill Sergeant! An 11 Mike is a Bravo that is too lazy to walk! That’s why they ride around in that armored jalopy!”
Yes, I really said that. I couldn’t believe those words had come out of my mouth, and I prepared to die.
Drill Sergeant P stood in stunned silence for a moment, then began shooting unintelligibly. He was so mad he couldn’t even talk. The other drill sergeants he had brought along to help mess with me, who were laughing hysterically, began issuing out commands through their laughter. For what seemed like an eternity, I went through the grass drill from hell, trying to react to commands of “FLUTTER KICKS, GO”, “PUSHUPS, GO”, “JUMPING JACKS, GO” etc for what seemed like forever. I was a quivering pile of crap by the time they got bored.
Drill Sergeant P and I works have other run ins with the rest of basic and AIT, but I’ll never forget his last words to me: “Private, if I ever see you again, it won’t be trainee abuse…”
Read more Basic Training Stories here.