Basic Training Story #4736
It was 0400, we were woken up with the lights being turned on and DS yelling his head off. Telling us to be formed up in Pts in less than 3 minutes It was the last thing we had to pass to complete osut. They called it the eagle run. A 5 mile company run. We got formed up, in about 8 minutes, so of course we were smoked for about 30 minutes. Suddenly when the smoking was over my stomach began to rumble.
I always started off my mornings with a big ol dump… but with us having to form up in such a short time I did not get the pleasure….. most of you by now know where this story is going… we began our run at a pretty easy pace. But I could feel a heavyness in my stomach and before too long I was having to run with my cheeks squeezed together.
I was about to crap myself and we hadn’t even ran a mile yet.
After we ran about a mile and a half the diarrhea pains eased up just a bit and I was fine… then when we got to 2 and a half miles it started creeping up on me again. one of the DS began to sing a cadence and idk why but it made it worse.
I had to make a choice, do I run to the side of the road and just let it out and continue my run? Or try to suck it up and keep running wit clenched cheeks. I decided to suck it up… the pain would come and go. By mile 4 I was almost in tears, screaming to the guys all around me “I’m about to crap everywhere literally”. it eased up the last mile thank God… we were almost back to out Company area relief and excitement set in.
I was so ready to get rid of the huge diarrhea pain sloshing around in my belly. We made it back and I took a run strain for the toilets. Suddenly all the DS were yelling to male a horseshoe formation around a truck. A full bird gets in the bed of the truck and starts blowing smoke saying we are the best soldiers he has ever seen… all I could think about is if I just crapped on the ground in place would the DS kill me or die laughing… I honestly didn’t care. I began to pace back and forth trying not to explode.
The colonel was still talking…. I couldn’t take it anymore I took off in a sprint to the toilets one DS started yelling at me to stop. I kept running. When I got to the toilet my pts were so sweaty it was a mother trying to get them off… suddenly I hear the door plow open and I hear DS yell private what are you doing. At that moment I was starting to squat on the toilet.
And I let it rip… no lie so much came out at once I’m pretty sure the colonel heard it outside. .. I got a lot of splash back and it went all over the floor and my legs and the toilet…. all the DS said was ” Carry On” and walked out”. When I was done I started to clean up. Two privates came in and said to change into ACUs asap.
Then one just started puking all over the floor. I guess the smell was too much… them the DS came back in and had the entire platoon clean the bathroom….. bad day.