I know you all think you had some dumb mother fuckers with you in basic. Well, ours takes the cake. We’ll call him Pvt JT. This guy self admitted that his recruiter told him not to talk at MEPS, just to nod and shake his head. I’ve got a hundred stories but this one is my personal favorite.
Well it’s our first excursion to the field to train and our trans is a cattle truck. Trailer with seats, driver in a cab. Well Pvt JT is sleepy, but the window is just so uncomfortable, so he props his Kevlar against the window John Wayne style. Sure as shit we hit a bump, his head comes up, his head comes down, and the Kevlar smashes through the window and off down the road behind us.
Pvt JT leaps up shouting “STOP THE BUS!” In his Neanderthal accent.
Dude, the driver can’t hear you. He starts crying cause even his pea sized brain knows he’s fucked. Drill sergeants buy him a bicycle helmet for permanent wear and assign two joes to keep track of this mother fucker for the rest of the cycle.