Breaking: Mattis Was Target of Afghanistan Rocket Attack

Can you think of anything dumber than trying to kill Secretary of Defense James Mattis? The man has already stated with absolute resolve and authority in his voice that he will kill all the enemies of America, so what do you do? You piss him off with an attempt on his life via rocket attack in Kabul.

This morning, merely hours after his plane landed, the Taliban launched a rocket attack on the airport in Kabul. Although the attack was hardly worthy of even scathing our beloved Mattis, 40 rounds did impact the base with 29 of them being RPGs. Najib Danish, an Afghan Interior Ministry spokesperson said that no U.S. forces were injured during the attack,  5 civilians were wounded. A few hangars and helicopters also sustained minor damage according to Kabul airport chief Yaqub Rassouli.

Not to take away from the wounded, but forty rounds, and you only wound a few civilians. Surprisingly Secretary of Defense Mattis did not walk outside and knife hand all those rounds to oblivion like he so obviously could have. 

Shortly afterwards, a raid by Afghan Special Forces located, close with and destroyed the suspected attackers with superior fire and maneuver, while both Taliban and Isis forces tried to take credit. 

In his first trip to Afghanistan since the new strategy and additional troops, Secretary of Defense Mattis remains firm in his resolve. The former Marine general had this to say about the incident, “This is a classic definition of what the Taliban are up to right now…they will find the Afghan security forces continuing on the offensive…it’s also the reason why we band together, and we don’t question what we’re doing here.”

Big mistake Taliban, big mistake.

Know what we're sayin fam?

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