We give the Air Force a lot of crap. Especially everyone here who was in a real branch…just kidding Air Force. This is actually going to be about why we love you guys. In all honestly most of the hate you probably get is from jealousy. With a mostly infantry staff comprised of soldiers and Marines, we look with bewilderment and wonder at the life that the Air Force personnel live, and we get mad. The facts are the facts and we do actually love you guys even if you make it hard to do so sometimes.
Reason number one to love the Air Force: A-10’s
Look, fighters are cool and they’ll definitely be on this list, the number one reason we love the Air Force is because of the badass close air support that A-10’s provide. When you’ve got Al-Qaedas and Talibans trying to overrun your position or execute a really shitty attack, nothing sends them scurrying like the sound we’ve all come to know and love “Brrrrrrrt”. What was that terrorists? Sorry, we can’t hear you over the sound the A-10 going hard in the paint with its 30mm GAU-8/A Avenger autocannon on your candy ass. Brrrrrrt for life!
Reason number two to love the Air Force: Fighter Jets
Whether it’s an F-15 or an F-22, these speed demons never cease to impress with their agility and flat-out acceleration. Not to mention the pilots of these aircraft are usually just as cocky and arrogant as the grunts in the Army and Marine Corps. Something about knowing you’re taking the fight to the enemy. We can absolutely respect and drink some Merica Bourbon to that.
Reason number three to love the Air Force: B-52 Stratofortress
When you just generally dislike everything in a particular grid square, who you gonna call? The B-52 of course. With the ability carry over 70,000 pounds of ordnance the B-52 says “I don’t like you, or the mountain you’re sitting on” and then ensures that both you and your mountain cease to exist. We talked a few days ago about how cool it’d be to bring battleships back cause their like, old and crotchety and mean. The B-52’s are the air equivalent and they’re still in service, whipping ass and dropping bombs.
Reason number four to love the Air Force: Officers Did the Fighting
With the exception and advent of PJs, the Air Force used to be the only branch in which the officers did a majority of the fighting. That’s pretty smart on the senior enlisted sides part. You know there was a meeting with all the E-8s and E-9s saying “Dudes, we should make the officers fight, while we stay back here and drink coffee.” And then the response is like “Damn, Bob, that’s a fine idea right there.” And so it was. Smooth Air Force, real smooth!
Reason number five to love the Air Force: Women
As knuckle dragging-pseudo neanderthal infantry types, we like women. We like pretty women even more. While each branch has it’s fair share of attractive ladies, the Air Force has some sort of weird marketing ploy that gets supermodels to enlist or commission. Per Capita the Air Force has more beautiful capable women. It’s just how it is. We LOVE the Air Force if you get our drift. But they don’t talk to us, even though we invited them out to a nice 5-Star Crayon and Glue dinner.