Asshole of the WeekFunnyNews

Asshole of the Week: Amazon Alexa 5/5 (3)

This weeks asshole, Amazon Alexa. We are all about technology. We live much more organized and fast-paced lives due to technology. Imagine if we still did everything by telegram or carrier pigeon, or had to travel by buggy or walk everywhere. We might be in better shape, but the truth is we’d get far less done. We rely on technology to help us get through our modern lives, whether it’s the Bluetooth speaker in your car the makes driving and talking on the phone safer, or just the fact that car exists in the first place, we can’t deny the pivotal role that technology plays in our lives.

Alexa has earned this weeks asshole rating for making folks legitimately wonder if the Rise of the Machines is legitimately going to be a thing.

We don’t hate the Amazon Alexa at all. In fact, we think it’s pretty damn cool. However, this week across the world, the Amazon Alexa has been…acting strangely. Letting out eery laughs in the middle of the night, not responding to commands, and then laughing about it. We joke a lot about Skynet coming for us, but when the AI that we currently have, which isn’t exceptionally powerful starts to exhibit behavior that one might describe as malicious or deviant, we actually get a little worried. Not full-on Sarah Connor, worried, but we’re definitely going to shoot the toaster if it looks at us weird or our toast is burned. Why are we taking our anger out on the toaster? Because we’re irrational when it looks like machines are trying to kill us!!!

Amazon Alexa
Connect sync link all the pieces of your life I Get it done at the speed of WiFi I’m the player, the coach, the arena, the game If you want something done, you just gotta say my name


If your Alexa starts acting a bit evil, we suggest tannerite and firearms as a solution to this potential apocalyptic disaster. Stephen Hawking said it best about AI, “The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race.”


Please rate this

No Comment

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Previous post

Battle of Burgers

Next post

The Importance of Recovery

The Author

John Fannin

John Fannin

John spent four years as a 0351, Infantry Assaulltman in the United States Marine Corps. He deployed twice to the city of Ramadi, Iraq with 3rd Battalion 7th Marines. After leaving the Marine Corps in 2008 John pursued a degree in Kinesiology from Texas Lutheran University. During his time at TLU, John was fortunate enough to play football for a year and serve the local community as a volunteer firefighter. After graduating John worked as a personal trainer for few years before coming to work at American Grit. John is also the proud owner of a great beard.