Military Astrology Signs

If other people can make up things about your life based on arbitrary positions of the stars, then we certainly can too, we’ll just put on our own spin on it. These are the military astrology signs. We probably could do about a thousand others, so we might make it a series, who knows.

This should be entertaining.

January 20th to February 18th: Doc

You’re smart, you’re independent, and you care about helping others. When you are on mission anyone who gets in your way will suffer your wrath. Docs love doing their job as well, when they aren’t doing their job, they get bored easily. Doc doesn’t always have much to say, but when they do, it’s powerful.

Military Astrology

February 19th – March 20th: Band Musician

Let’s face it, you’re creative. You joined the military because you’re basically a professional musician at this point. You get paid to play an instrument, that’s a professional musician. You’re not a huge fan of fighting and you prefer a more gentle and non-confrontational lifestyle. When it comes down to it though, you’re incredibly wise for your age.

March 21st-April 19th: Company Grade Officer

Company Grade Officers love taking leadership roles, hence why they are officers. Bold and courageous officers hate laziness and will work to ensure their men are never viewed as lazy, assigning busy work to their men. Often times officers will act without thinking because they want to be seen as brave or courageous, they are tempered by a wise Staff Noncommissioned Officer. Company Grade Officers are often PT Studs and expect others to be as well.

April 20th-May 20th: Field Grade Officer

Field Grade Officers are set in their ways, very similar to the SNCO, they’ve been around a while and it has developed patience and reliability in them. As a Field Grade Officer, you enjoy some of the finer things in life, knowing all too well that life is short and you must enjoy yourself when not hard at work.

May 21st-June 20th: Infantry Squad Leader

First, you’re sour then you’re sweet. You will gladly chew out your subordinates, but as soon as it’s over, you’ll either have a beer with them or stick up for them to an officer. Squad Leaders are often smarter than they look. A good Squad Leader will talk to everyone in his squad, ensuring he knows their capabilities and weaknesses. Works well with Doc.

June 21st-July 22nd: Battle Buddy

You’re great to everyone because you’re loyal. So what your buddy talked shit to a guy twice his size, he’s your friend and nothing will stop you from jumping in to help him out. Battle Buddies are friends for life but beware, they can be very persuasive when it comes to bad ideas.

July 23 – August 22: Staff Noncommissioned Officer (SNCO)

These natural born leaders are great at finding creative solutions to problems. For instance, instead of just shooting at a building that fire is coming from, a Staff Noncommissioned Officer will boldly call in an airstrike, because nothing says creative like a 500 pound JDAM.

Military Astrology

August 23rd-September 22nd: Intel

You’re smart, your loyal and you work your ass off so that troops in the field have the best information available. You analyze every detail of everything and obsess over it. Some may see it as a weakness, but to the men and women who come home every day because of your preparation, you’re a hero, but you’d never accept that recognition anyways.

September 23rd -October 22nd: JAG

The JAG is always seeking justice. To the JAG there is no great cause in life than justice and equality. Instead of fighting, a well-crafted argument or prose keeps them from most confrontations, utilizing their skills of persuasion and keen intellect to deflect any violence. JAGs usually have expensive and fancy taste in all things.

military astrology

October 23rd-November 21st: That Guy/Girl

You know, “That Guy/Girl”, brave as hell, and there is no one you’d trust more in a firefight. Straight up, dead-eye killer, but That Guy/Girl has a hard time shutting it down when they come home. They can be violent and distrustful, but they’ll always be loyal and despite their penchant for violence, have a strong moral code. That Guy/Girl is an enigma, but if you can befriend one, it’s a smart move.

military astrology

November 22nd-December 21st: Special Operations

They have a lot more freedom than the average military member, plus their assignments take them all over the world affording them to do all the traveling they could want. A great sense of humor and a love of philosophy allow these people to overcome some of the more difficult things they’ve seen. They’ve got a vast wealth of experience in many different areas.

December 22nd to January 19th: General

Generals have a certain connection to time-honored traditions and feel the weight of the world on their shoulders. The buck truly stops with them, they are responsible and disciplined, moving troops and equipment like a well-orchestrated symphony. A general can truly appreciate the simple, but fine things in life.

Military Astrology


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1 thought on “Military Astrology Signs”

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    Leos are the most common signs in the military. They’re the lions and would probably make better infantrymen. But funny post though…


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