James Mattis: CHAOS Actual

Categories: American Grit Stories

There are in our opinion four types of folks in this world. Those who talk a lot of shit and can’t kill you. Those who don’t say anything and can kill three men in a bar with a pencil. Those who talk a lot of shit and will kill you with a pencil. Those who don’t talk shit and can’t kill you. We think we covered all of our bases here, with one exception. See James Mattis doesn’t always talk but when that man does talk…well it’s straight fire. He’s savage like Slayer and smooth like Sinatra. He is CHAOS Actual.

See James Mattis has honed his skills of talking shit and kicking ass to a whole new level. Years and years and years and years of demolishing enemies on the battlefield has given the Warrior Monk unparalleled street cred. When he says something you know it’s legit. For instance, CHAOS Actual said the following,

“You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn’t wear a veil. You know, guys like that ain’t got no manhood left anyway. So it’s a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them. Actually, it’s quite fun to fight them, you know. It’s a hell of a hoot. It’s fun to shoot some people.”

James Mattis
The steely-eyed gaze of the man Death herself loves, because he gives her so many enemy bodies as gifts.

That’s why it’s unsurprising to us at least, who have jumped in the Mattis cult without trepidation, we laughed when he said the following on CBS ‘Face The Nation’ when asked what keeps him awake at night. In the most James Mattis way ever, he responded,

“Nothing, I keep other people awake at night.”

Other great lines such as his reply to Wolf Blitzer over concerns with Iran as commander of CENTCOM.

“I don’t have worry or stress, I cause worry and stress.”

Look Secretary of Defense (Lord of War) James Mattis is a bad bad man and when he speaks, the enemies of America are put on notice. He will kill you with a pencil…..or whatever else he has available.

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Know what we're sayin fam?

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