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You Should Definitely NOT Rob Waffle House 4.93/5 (15)

What in the ever living f*** are people thinking? This is the second time this year that someone has attempted to rob a Waffle House. It is also the second time the news has covered someone getting their ass royally handed to them. You should definitely not rob Waffle House. It is almost a sure fire way to end up getting shot or getting your ass beat.

Waffle House is like the Southwest Airlines of restaurants, if you start shit in the Waffle House, you’re going to have a bad time.

This past weekend in Georgia, a man entered a Waffle House with a weapon, it turned out later to be a BB gun, but the man was attempting to rob the salt of the earth people that work at the Waffle House. So one armed customer did exactly what he should have done. He cleared leather, out came the smoke wagon and he dropped the would-be robber.

Pop pop pop make a motherf***er drop drop drop.

If you look up Waffle House Robbery, you’ll find tons of stories about attempted robberies of the food chain, usually, they all end the same way. The would-be robbers usually get caught by police or get their ass handed to them on site. Waffle House ready to fight.

In case you’ve thought about robbing a Waffle House, here are some much safer alternatives for you to consider.

Finger paint.

Drive without your seatbelt on.

Run with scissors.

Go skydiving without a parachute.

Go bungee jumping without the cord.

Cross the street without looking both ways. 

Kick Harambe’s cousin in the nuts. 

All of these activities, while seeming a bit extreme, are actually statistically much safer than trying to pull some dumb shit at a Waffle House. Share with all of your dipshit friends, because who knows, maybe you’ll save them from f***ing around in a Waffle House and getting to their shitty mugshot on TV after being shot, or having their ass kicked by a bunch of pissed off customers.

In closing, we’d like to say this. Waffle House is the true epitome of America, it doesn’t matter the color of your skin, your creed, your religion, none of that matters. All that matters is someone is trying to ruin your tasty waffle treats and like true Americans, you all band together to ensure that ruiner of all the goodness that is Waffle House, gets his ass kicked for being the asshole that he is.

 

 

 

 

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The Author

John Fannin

John Fannin

John spent four years as a 0351, Infantry Assaulltman in the United States Marine Corps. He deployed twice to the city of Ramadi, Iraq with 3rd Battalion 7th Marines. After leaving the Marine Corps in 2008 John pursued a degree in Kinesiology from Texas Lutheran University. During his time at TLU, John was fortunate enough to play football for a year and serve the local community as a volunteer firefighter. After graduating John worked as a personal trainer for few years before coming to work at American Grit. John is also the proud owner of a great beard.