Bomb Plot Foiled in New York
So. We don’t get it. Like…we all know the NSA, FBI, and CIA are all like watching us. NSA is Steven, the FBI is Michelle, and the CIA is Gerald. So, hi Steven, Michelle, and Gerald. This guy bought a shit ton of black powder, and in this instance, a shit ton is about 200 pounds, with which he intended to use as a bomb and blow up the National Mall on Election Day.
Gotta say, as an 0351 from the Marine Corps, I wanna say that’s gonna be a shitty bomb. Also, you realize you can’t like, just buy a shitload of black powder over the internet and not have someone go “Hey, what’s this all about?”
Anyways Paul Rosenfeld, of New York thought he could. (Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb) He was going to make this big ass bomb, explode it on election day to garner attention and support for the political system where our representatives are picked at random. Ya know…that system might not be a bad idea, we don’t know. But we do know that blowing people and property up isn’t exactly the best way to get the United States to see how great your political ideals are…(cough GWOT cough).
What a messed up world we live in. Paul was charged not only with building it but just like driving around with it in his trunk or some shit because hey, it worked out so well for the terrorists who drove around with gigantic ass bombs in their vehicles right? (Wrong)
We are curious as to how that traffic stop went though…if it did in fact occur.
“Excuse me, sir, do you know why I pulled you over?”
“Oh shit, my fuse is hanging out of my trunk, I’ll get that fixed right away officer, you were definitely not supposed to see that!”
“No, you had a broken taillight, but what’s this about a fuse?”
“Oh well, see I have this bomb…wait, I probably shouldn’t have told you that…Ok, you got me. You guys are clever.”
What else can we say kids other than, if you buy your bomb shit over the internet, and then drive around with it; you’re probably gonna get caught thanks to the tireless efforts of Steven, Michelle, and Gerald.