Oh Canada

While the rest of the world panicked during the great YouTube Outage of 2018, Canada decided to grow the f***s it gave in the Arctic tundra. While the rest of the world was launched into a frenzy, the Canadians settled into their log cabins in their Canadian Tuxedos watching their favorite Ryan Reynolds movie getting stoned out of there damn mind. As one of the larger economies in the world, Canada is the first of the economic “big players” to let their citizens toke up without fear of reprisal.

Long lines formed outside of stores where weed was now just as legal to buy as a roll of toilet paper and some milk. No more marijuana prohibition in the land of the Maple Leaf.

Not only can Canadians get baked without fear of arrest, but those with minor prior convictions for possessing the substance are hopeful as well with the plan to introduce a sort of “fast-track” to obtain a pardon for their crimes. It’s not surprising they’d be so nice to former offenders since we’re pretty sure Canada wrote Chick-Fil-A’s employee guide on how to be nice to customers.

There isn’t much to do in Canada, it’s like always cold (so we’ve heard) and there is approximately one moose for every thirty-seven people and even more caribou. It’s not like you’re going to be chilling out catching some rays of the Nova Scotian beaches. So we’re happy for those that live in the frozen tundra who basically get to live in Winterfell year round that they now have a new…hobby to participate in while they listen to Bob and Doug McKenzie in the land of overwhelming politeness.

So if you see a big cloud forming up north, don’t worry about hurricanes or the apocalypse, it’s just those Canadians lighting up to mellow out while eating some all-dressed chips.

 

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