ISIS Fighters Caught

Two dudes, ISIS Fighters or as we like to call them pieces of fecal matter splattered on the wall by monkies at the zoo were caught trying to get back home to Germany by disguising themselves via hair transplants in Turkey. While it may seem farcical and it is a little humorous to think of them going into the Turkish Bosleys Hair Replacement Therapy Club purely so they can look different, let it be understood these guys will try anything.

They are more committed to killing you than your chick is to stealing your hoodies and wearing yoga pants come October 1st. These dudes have literally been brainwashed into thinking that killing non-believers or even believers who aren’t as extreme as them is literally the best thing that can happen to them in life. They don’t want for a Ferrari or a big ass mansion in Beverly Hills or Malibu, hell they don’t even care if they find a wife and settle down.

The two fighters, Adnan Sutkovic, and Zulhajrat Seadini had planned to do some lone wolf type shit in Germany, much the same way their asshole buddies have been doing bad shit in Paris. A large music festival was one of the intended targets.  Luckily, the skill level in not getting caught by a lot of these dudes is not very high and we’ve (our Allies/Interpol) caught a lot of them before they could go off the reservation.

We don’t report on this stuff to scare you guys, we know you’re better than that. We tell you these things because there are others that thing merely being cool and talking with these guys is going to be a solution…and it is but only after you catch them and have them in a holding cell…being interrogated by a Human Exploitation interrogator.

But until then watch out plastic surgery clinics and hair clubs for dudes. ISIS tryin’ to make an appointment.

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