The Mega Millions Cash Payout is roughly $568 Million. What Would You Do?

Two chicks at the sa…I don’t think I can publish that part. In all seriousness, while the odds of us winning the ridiculous amount of money in the Mega Millions are slim to none and I have a better chance of convincing Alison Brie that I’m the man of her dreams than I do of winning, it hasn’t stopped me from developing a plan so I don’t end up as one of those broke ass former lottery winners.

Because that is a thing. People win tons of money and then like 4 years later they are friggin broke as hell, living in a shitty ass trailer that screams fire code violations. So here is this Marine Corps veterans idea on how he would spend $568 million dollars.

First. Hire an attorney and set up a living trust with $200 million dollars. Boomtown, done! Never gonna run out of money as long as it’s managed correctly. Following that, put ten million into a high-interest savings account as a backup.

Now I’m sitting with $358 million dollars. I’d pay off all of my debt. House, car, credit card, student loans. That would be a literal drop in the bucket thankfully for me. We’d only be down to like $357.7 million (houses are expensive).

I’d pay off my immediate families debt. Not sure what my parents and siblings are at debt wise, I don’t ask. I’ll say to pay off all of their combined debt that’d be one million dollars. So now I’m down to $356.7 million dollars.

All debt in my entire family is gone, I’ve got a renewable trust fund, as well as ten million just chilling collecting interest in the bank. Parents would get 5 million for putting up with my shit, yeah only 5 million, I’m adorable. Siblings would get 1 million each. One time gift. Down to $349.7 million dollars.

I’d purchase a few more investment properties around the local military base, and university. Location, location, location. Then I’d buy my dream house behind my double amputee best friend, turn his backyard and my backyard into Super-Backyard complete with grill, lazy river, and outdoor entertainment system so we could get fat while watching sportsball and floating in our own lazy river while getting margarita drunk on a Tuesday. He and his family would also get a one time one million dollar gift.

By fair market estimates, and estimating the cost of such a menial (relatively speaking) construction project and property purchases, we’re guessing we’d be down to $335.7 million dollars. I’d donate 50 million to a charity, probably St. Judes. They heal sick kids, how can you hate St. Judes?

Taxes would be paid for the next 80 years in advance. Then I’d buy a medium sized yacht. Cause I wanna be on a boat! Take a good hard look at this motherf***ing boat!

I’d buy a new truck and probably a Corvette. The rest would then be invested into the trust and used for day to day expenses.

All in all, probably, I couldn’t spend the rest, although I would buy a shitload of guns, and hire a personal chef. I got tired of keeping up with the math but it’s safe to say I’d still probably have over $250 million in cash to dispense between the trust, savings account and daily spending money. Not a bad life.

What would you guys do?

 

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