Someone needs to have a talk with these Killer Whales

It has been long known that Killer Whales, Orcas, haate the ever living whale shit out of Great White Sharks. If you didn’t know that, you need to watch more Discovery Channel and learn some shit because Shamu will mess up a whole assload of Great White Sharks. But this is stuff we already knew. However, someone needs to sit down and have a talk with these Killer Whales because they have graduated from killing and eating the sharks to just maiming them by biting off their testicles.

Yes, you read that right. Great white sharks are being murdered and while we don’t feel particularly bad about it because f*** you Jaws, the biting off of them shark avocados is just a little bit…unnerving. This sudden change in behavior is unexplained, as the sharks aren’t even being eaten whole. The stomach, liver and nutsacks are the only thing missing from the sharks that have started washing up on shore.

Is this some sort of blood feud? A gang war? Like we get the fact that Killer Whales need a shitton of calories per day to survive and Great White Sharks are apparently an easy target for them…but why not eat the whole thing? Why just maim them?

Killer Whale Steve: DUDE!! Did you just bite the nuts off that shark?
Killer Whale Kevin: Yeah, he called my mom a whale, so f*** him and his whole family.
Killer Whale Steven: Your mom IS a whale, Kevin! We’re all whales. You can’t just go around biting huevos off for shit like that!!
Killer Whale Kevin: Don’t call my mom a whale Steve, I’ll bite your nuts off too!

Killer Whale
‘Ay Jaws, u wan sum f**

Can someone sit down with Kevin and help him work out his anger and identity issues? He is a whale…his mom is in fact also a whale (we know they are technically porpoises, but for continuity of this piece, they are whales). He can’t go around biting the sacks off of sharks just because they called his mom a whale.

Just kill them and eat them like normal.

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