Iran Fails Again

Much like their state of the art 5th generation fighter (and believe us we say that as sarcastically as we can) that looks a lot like something we made back in the ’60s, Iran has failed yet again, albeit this time on a much more spectacular scale. As you can see from the title image, it did not end well! (kaboom)

This morning, Iran launched it’s Payam satellite despite warnings from the United States, stating that the launch would violate the resolutions put forth by the UN Security Council due to the ballistic technology employed. It started off well, with the first two stages working exactly as they should, but then…then the third stage lit up the early morning sky with a brilliant explosion of failure.

The Payam satellite launch turned out to be an utter and abject failure. Not that we’re complaining, we’re not the biggest fans of Iran over here. Call it a deep seeded hatred for them and their actions in Iraq where they supplied insurgents with explosively formed projectiles (EFPs) that killed American forces. There are a bunch of assholes running the show over there and quite honestly we’d just like to take a moment to sit back and relax in a six dollar lawn chair, dip our toes in a kiddie pool while drinking a margarita and enjoy the heat from the explosion and failed hopes and dreams of the “Islamic Republic of Iran” (it’s in quotes because let’s be honest, it’s not really a Republic, it’s more of an authoritarian theocratic dictatorship).

What caused the rocket to fail? We don’t know but we wouldn’t be surprised if maybe, possibly, there was an action that someone got an award for in a dark basement with a whole bunch of redacted lines in the citation.

Iran has pledged to continue working on their rocket technology and conduct more launches and tests. We hope they all end the same way this one did.

Know what we're sayin fam?

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