The Future Is Now

If we don’t start adding bat shit crazy ass weaponry to any and all prosthesis coming out and upgrades of all the current prosthesis already in circulation, I’m going to be super disappointed. The people that need prosthesis have already endured a pretty damn significant life-altering event, and now you’re telling me that we’re not even going to include hidden plasma cannons or grappling hooks in their prosthetics. Unadulterated bullshit if you ask this Marine!

Scientists, we’re looking at you here. Whether or not our homeboy/homegirl was born without a limb, lost it in war, or a tragic lumber mill accident, we need to equip these fine upstanding Americans with some quality space age weaponry in order to make their lives a little bit easier.

It’s a great start to get everyone prosthetics that help them function and do daily tasks, but it’s 2019 and I’m not sure why there aren’t rocket thrusters circa the Iron Man suit in the leg prosthetics. Call me old fashioned if you will, but I think that since we have the technology, we ought to make it work. Hell man, I’d even be cool if the leg prosthetics gave them a super jump ability or some shit so they could literally clear small buildings in a single bound.

For the arms, I’m sticking with a plasma cannon and grappling hook, you could alternate the plasma cannon for a grenade launcher, but it’d be difficult to store enough ammo to make it cost effective or even efficient to use. You’d have one arm looking like Popeye got a benign tumor in it and the other arm with the grappling hook all sleek and whatnot.

Here’s looking at you Elon Musk. Develop the technology for a plasma cannon, grappling hook, and super jump/rocket thruster prosthetic bionic limbs. There is literally no way on Earth this could backfire or end up in the wrong hands.

Straight up bullshit that they don’t have this shit now if you ask me. We’ve been at war for like 20 years and nobody thought to give our amputees badass plasma arm cannons and super jump abilities? GTFO!

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2 thoughts on “The Future Is Now

  1. It was great meeting you today John, I like your style!
    Only problem I see, is some bureaucrat trying to attach a $200 tax stamp to it. NFA arms and legs here we come!!!!