Venezuelan Military Releases Video To Intimidate United States Marines

Categories: Funny, Military, Satire
kill boner

When the United States Marine Corps saw the video at first they were shocked. But then as the video was disseminated through the ranks, the shock turned to laughter and the laughter eventually turned to smiles and the smiles trickled their way down into the loins of the Marines who are now sporting a rock hard kill boner. Yes, you read that right, the entire Marine Corps has seen the video and are super excited for happy murder time. 

The chance that they may get the opportunity to kill these shitbirds, drink their booze, and become “Jodies” in a foreign land…is it still a “Jody” if the women fall for the handsome foreign invaders? Asking for several friends who are still on active duty.

ATENCIÓN: No es un video de un programa televisivo de humor, es un video del gobierno venezolano para asustar a los marines norteamericanos…

Posted by TodoEsJoda on Monday, February 4, 2019

An unnamed spokesperson for the Marine Corps stated that the Commandant of the Marine Corps, General Neller has been on the phone with all of the division commanders and regimental commanders across the entire Marine Corps asking them how soon they can be ready to show these amateurs how the varsity team plays. Obviously, nobody wants another war, but when a challenge such as this is issued, the Marine Corps must respond. Neller was also allegedly overheard stating,

“..not only no, but f*** no, we won’t need any ammunition, just grab the bayonets from the armory and get on the damn buses, troop transports or whatever the hell transports and stop fiddle-farting the f*** around.”

It is unclear whether or not Neller is acting on the Presidents orders or on his own, but when the entire Marine Corps has a raging kill boner, it’s hard to put a stop to the wheels of the war machine already in motion.

When asked to comment on the fact that the United States Marine Corps seemed to be mobilizing and only bringing Ka-Bars, the Venezuelan leadership responsible for the video simply stated,

“Oh, we f***ed up.”

We’ll let you know if any other developments occur.

Know what we're sayin fam?

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9 thoughts on “Venezuelan Military Releases Video To Intimidate United States Marines

  1. Oh the Venezuelans will get F**ked up. The country will fall within a week tops due to a bunch of 18 to 20 year olds trained in the ways of combat siting on their a** for a few weeks while fleet gets there

  2. Shee-it…. they just want us to go down there and kill enough clowns to lighten the load on the over-population problems, but don’t want to come out and just say it. Instead, start a fake war, then blame American “Imperialist” Marines, and of course, Trump. Shee-it!

  3. Are those guys wearing black face 😂? Maybe we should just send BLM down there to instill some PC BS. If that doesn’t work, then maybe a retired security guard or 2.

  4. UPDATE: upon arrival of U.S.Marines, a McDonalds was built and the Venezuelan Marines surrendered stating “We were fucking starving and we knew every time the U.S. deployed to war in a country, a McDonalds was built.”.