You Want to Know What Happened In Haiti?

Categories: Military, News, Opinion

Cool. Us too. All we have is speculation though at this point. If you want an educated guess…and even this guess has multiple flaws in it and many questions unanswered. These dudes were hired to ensure that President Jovenel Moise was able to flee the country safely.

Like we said, our theory is shady at best (so keep that in mind) and we’ve already spent tons of time poking holes in our own theory, but it’s the best idea given the almost zero info we have about what was going on.

President Moise and his government have been accused of stealing like f***tons of f***in money from the people and the Venezuela Petrocaribe fund.

These homies were on their way to President Moise to get him out of the country and had some throwaway Bushmaster rifles. Weapons they were familiar with but wouldn’t mind ditching.

While Jovenel Moise is being accused of massive corruption, the opposition lead by Platfòm Pitit Desalin leader Jean-Charles Moïse is noted as being somewhat socialist and maybe even a slight bit Commie (unsubstantiated).

So you’ve got some dudes who are probably getting paid under the table very handsomely to get the allegedly corrupt President out of the country and smoke some alleged communists in the process. We’re not saying it’s right, but we’re also not naive enough to believe something like this couldn’t happen. Keyword COULDN’T.

Continuing on, the expensive drones can be explained due to the fact that it would theoretically be six versus a country. Situational awareness would be key to mission success. Where there were mobs gathered, where they blocked off roads, etc…The lone Serbian was either the arms dealer or another shooter, either way, it doesn’t really matter because everything at this point his HIGHLY speculative and full of plot holes.

Almost forgot to add, these dudes said that their boss would call their boss and get them released from custody…ok…weird.

It’d make a decent movie though if you got the Ryan Reynolds, Chris Hemsworth and John Krasinski to play three leading roles. Maybe Christopher Nolan directs…we dunno.

We have no idea what is going on in Haiti and this speculation could be spot on or so very very very inaccurate. But it just goes to show that as shitty as we can be here in the United States at times, it is and can be far…far…far…far worse in the rest of the world.

P.S. don’t go to Haiti for your vacation right now. Not a good idea.