Army’s Next Rifle To Be A Game Changer…?

Categories: Funny, Military, News

Will it be, though? I mean…they are saying they want to totally and utterly change the game in the world of small arms…but I mean, how creative can you get with a rifle when it comes to propelling a projectile through a barrel within a system that your every day average Marine, soldier, airman, or sailor can handle?

Our take is unless this rifle is like the one we saw in “Fifth Element”, we’re not entirely sure they are going to revolutionize shit…

Except here is the deal…that is almost exactly what they are asking for. With microprocessors and hardened electronic sensors, the U.S. Army is basically asking for an aimbot like you’d find back in the days when an 8-year-old kid would tell you they’d f*** your mom while playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Point. Click. Hit. Easy.

There is one drawback that stood out as we read…there is a desire for an interrupted trigger function that in dumb grunt terms, only lets you make pew when you’re on target. Look that’s cool and all, but sometimes there is this cool thing called fire superiority, where you’re keeping the bad guy’s heads down. Love the idea of increasing our first round hit/kill percentage among troops, but you know…like there is this thing called cover and something called suppressive fire (thanks Cyril Figgis). Maybe let the trigger pull be at the fighters discretion…

Aside from that little caveat, the round will certainly be the bigger 6.8mm round and we couldn’t be happier about that. Big rounds make big holes in people and that makes them dead better (not a typo, we f***ed up our grammar on purpose).

I just hope, as a grunt, that we’re not trying to reinvent the wheel. It all sounds really really cool. And if it works, it will be really really cool. But what if it breaks? Look just give us damn laser rifles and let’s start laying down intense beams of energy with a flat lay trajectory…yeah the bad guys can see where we are, but a laser will punch right through most walls…we think…we’re not particle physicists.

Know what we're sayin fam?

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