Man Who Turns In Guns At Gun Buyback Surprised When He’s Robbed (SATIRE)

Categories: Satire

This past Saturday, Michigan City held a gun buyback where several citizens from the city dropped by the police station to drop off their firearms to prevent mass gun violence. While it makes just about as much sense as cutting off your dick to prevent rape, the citizens who were told that guns are bad by Piers Morgan and many other celebrities who are protected by guns, dutifully went and dropped off single shot shotguns, and other antiquated firearms to the tune of 200 dollars per firearm.

Shortly after leaving the gun buyback, Arlo Styne was robbed at gunpoint. Not only was he now out the two hundred dollars paid to him by the Michigan City PD for turning in an old nonfunctioning WW2 carbine that he found in his grandpa’s attic, but also his hand drum that’d been in his family for one entire generation…gone…

“I’m just, you know…I just turned in my grandfather’s old WW2 gun so that it couldn’t hurt anyone else, and now this happens…what kind of gun was it…I dunno wood and metal, I guess, it was pretty short, and the barrel was really rusty. I doubt it’s been fired since WW2, wasn’t that like 150 years ago man?” 

We’re guessing that it was probably an old M1 carbine…from the 1940’s…some 77 some odd years ago.

“I just…this kind of thing shouldn’t happen to me, it should happen to those super dangerous gun owners, advocating for constitutional carry. I believe in peace and love, not violence man. Guns are bad dude.”

We let him know that the reason it didn’t happen to one of those super dangerous gun owners was probably due to the fact that the man who mugged him did not want to end up getting shot in the f***ing face. The shock didn’t seem to wear off despite being presented with such a blatant and logical conclusion.

“Yeah but like, still though…they’re (gun owners) the ones causing all these problems and now I’m out $200 to buy more uh…oregano for cooking… and my f***in’ drum man…”

 

Know what we're sayin fam?

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