The “Definitely Not Socialist Nation of Venezuela”

The “Definitely Not Socialist Nation of Venezuela,” (well at least not REAL socialism because that’s never been tried right) has been without power for going on five days now. What little food there is has become more and more scarce as many nations including the United States try to deliver aid to the citizens of the impoverished “Definitely Not Socialist Nation of Venezuela.” 

But what could ever be the cause of such catastrophic events? Definitely not socialism as we’ve pointed out because Venezuela didn’t enact REAL socialism. Pro-government forces are conducting raids and killing anti-Maduro protestors as well as arresting them for dangerous actions as speaking out against being starved to death. It’s not like the military was in charge of the food and medicine distribution for the entire country…oh wait…but that’s not real socialism…it hasn’t been tried yet. Power

Just like it wasn’t really tried in the “Glorious Union of Soviet Socialist Republics,” none of them were Republics. They were this other thing…called a repressive and oppressive tyrannical dictatorship…or wait, what about that beacon of Socialist success, Cuba…where you could be executed or arrested for any number of make-believe offenses…but again…not real socialism.

Just like in the “Definitely Not Socialist Nation of Venezuela” where the mere act of speaking out against a government that holds it’s population by the throat could and most likely will get you shot…but again, definitely not a REAL example of socialism.

As we watch from the United States, with our many freedoms and ability to protest peacefully, our right to bear arms, our ability to go to supermarkets and buy food, our ability to be somewhat secure in our homes and not get targeted by secret government hit squads that don’t like how we merely disagreed with the governmental policy of the day…we can’t think of a reason to stay in this state of readily available food and medicine. We should definitely be the first nation to try real socialism because after all, the other nations just haven’t done it quite right (Obvious sarcasm should be obvious at this point).

The situation continues to spin out of control as the world watches and a tyrant grips his nation by the balls, but remember folks, it’s definitely not real socialism that’s causing all of this…

(Hopefully, everyone can tell where we were being sarcastic…)


Know what we're sayin fam?

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