Guilty Pleasure War Playlist

Categories: Funny, Military

Everyone likes hype music and we all had a “war playlist”. Whether you’re a redneck country boy from Duluth, Minnesota (this is called sarcasm and irony) or from the concrete jungles of Junction, Texas (did you catch it that time). We all had our favorite pre-patrol music that we listened to when we were getting ready to go out on patrol. Some people had Metallica, others had Merle Haggard…the gambit ranged from dastardly death metal to fresh hip hop to twangy country as the military truly is a microcosm of our country. However, sometimes, the speakers would go off and the headphones would go in as the guilty pleasures on our playlists were queued up on our first generation iPods.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have obtained those tracks that the door kickers of our nation didn’t want you to know they secretly loved. We’ve compiled a list of songs that…well you’d never think that these dirty grungy ill-mannered and even worse tempered fighting men would listen to. Do enjoy…

Katy Perry-Firework
Look, Marines, soldiers, airmen and some sailors alike love a gorgeous woman and Katy Perry circa 2010 was a stone cold fox. Can you imagine chuckin’ grenades or firing some API (Armor Piercing Incendiary) rounds at bad guys while this upbeat tune and bodacious brunette gets you goin’? We can…man we can…(heart-shaped eyes emoji)

Backstreet Boys-Everybody
Imagine if you will, raiding a house and finding enough evidence to make you suspicious of the “totes cool dude” who “really really loves America”…now imagine two weeks later you get hard ( get hard) evidence that homeboy is actually a bad guy, and now you can kick down his door with a vengeance and say loud and proud “BACKSTREETS BACK ALRIGHT” as you smoke this douchebag. Good times.

Taylor Swift/T-Swizzle Sticks/The Blood God-We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
It’s difficult to get back together with people if 1) You were never with them and 2) You shoot them with an HEDP round from your trusty (lol trusty) Mk19.

Neil Diamond- Sweet Caroline
This should be self-explanatory, instead of saying the “buh buh buh” you just coordinate between yourself and 2 of your boys with M203s (under barrel grenade launcher) to fire off three rounds in quick succession at the enemy. BUH BUH BUH! It’ll get you hype!

The A-Team Theme
Where would our generation of GWOT killers be without the nostalgia of the 1980s and cocai…The A-Team? Bummed out that’s where.

Aqua-Barbie Girl
It’s almost as if you’re taunting the enemy at this point. Rolling through the streets of Ramadi circa 2005, sitting in a gun turret screaming off-key “I’m a Barbie Girl, in a barbie woooorld, life in plastic, it’s fantastic!”

Vengaboys-We Like To Party
If by party you mean lay down copious amounts of accurate and deadly suppressive fire while the other platoon maneuvers on the enemy and kills them all with reckless abandon, then yeah, we like to party.

We’re sure that there will be tons of denial of these facts, but just remember, he who denied it supplied it.

Know what we're sayin fam?

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