Lance Corporals Do Dumb Shit All The Time

Categories: Military, News

On July 3rd, two Lance Corporals were arrested by Border Patrol agents for trying to smuggle illegal aliens across the border for the almighty doll hair (say it fast it’ll make sense).  By all means, we’re not advocating this behavior when we say the following; We’re not surprised. Lance Corporals do dumb shit all the time.

Literally all the time. We personally have poked rattlesnakes in Twentynine Palms with sticks because we were bored. We’ve seen a 5’4”, 120 pounds soaking wet drunk Lance Corporal try to pick a fight with a bouncer who makes Thor look like Michael Phelps. We know that we’re supposed to be like the pristine, honorable, defenders of freedom, but again, we have to reiterate, Lance Corporals do dumb shit all the time.

The two Marines from 1st Battalion 5th Marines were arrested after they’d made several trips to try and smuggle illegal aliens, the most recent trip, they were supposed to get paid $8k. To some, four thousand dollars apiece isn’t much, but to a young Lance Corporal, that’s a small fortune. He can pay down the balance on his 23% interest vehicle loan (low hanging fruit right there). He can get his stripper baby mama off his back for maybe like a day or two…

All we’re saying here is that while it may be shocking to the rest of the world, to us…to Marines…like…we kind of expect that shit. Furthermore, the punishment should be harsher because they were caught. We have standards after all. Everyone knows junior enlisted Marines do some shady shit from time to time, but we all operate on the fact that if they don’t get caught, well, they’re more valuable in combat when we need to do shady shit, so we blow it off, because most of the time it’s just shady, not necessarily illegal, just…you know shady.

Point is if you’re going to do dumb shit or shady shit. Don’t get caught. Because then, you’re an embarrassment to your unit. Way to go 1/5, we had the east coast on the ropes, with their shitbaggery, but noooooooo you gotta go and have two Marines get caught being dumb. Assholes.

Know what we're sayin fam?

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3 thoughts on “Lance Corporals Do Dumb Shit All The Time

  1. Yep I did some shady shit back in the day but I am not going to tell you about it because I never got caught so I am not giving anything up now either

  2. i think we should start a new immigrant relocation program all these immigrants were spending money on lets use military dollars toward shipping there ass to all over the world to work to clean up the planet instead of a war we can do that egypt needs a good cleanup africa in general make the europeans union pay for the shit