Oklahoma Man Shows Up Florida Man

Categories: Funny, News

Seems like a routine traffic stop, right? Nothing out of the ordinary with whiskey on board. Then the rattlesnake is found. Ok, that’s a bit odd, but we’ve seen Florida Man do some weird shit so not entirely surprising. However…when the URANIUM was found, it became a whole nother issue.

Like what kind of drunk mutated rattlesnake is this dude trying to make? If he didn’t look so methed up, lol (see what we did there) we would assume that this Oklahoma man was some sort of evil genius scientist bent on global domination, but truthfully, he’s probably part of an illegal snake fighting ring if such things exist and he thought the whiskey and uranium would give his pet rattlesnake “Tom” a slight edge over the other fighting snakes.

Stephen Jennings, congratulations for the most epic, and nonsensical, even farcical traffic stop of all time outside of Guthrie, Oklahoma. We have no idea what the intent behind all that weird shit was…well…the whiskey is kind of self-explanatory, but the Uranium and the rattlesnake…just what the fuk dude?

In a stolen vehicle nonetheless. Too bad he looks like Walter White’s best customer or we’d have seriously considered there to be a hidden laboratory somewhere with more radioactive mutant venomous snakes…who also might be drunk.

We almost forgot, he also had a gun in the vehicle with him. Bro…why? It’s not like a mere mortal weapon like a gun is going to stop a drunken radioactive mutant rattlesnake. This guy really didn’t think his plan through.

But before we let you go, we gotta tell you the last bit. He had a passenger with him, a lovely mad scientist assistant if you will, a Rachel Rivera. Folks, if you’re feeling down on life, like there will be nobody that will love you, take heart in this story because if a dude who steals a car, with a pistol, whiskey, a rattlesnake and uranium can find someone to accompany him on his weird life journey…then we’re betting that you can find someone to love you too.

Know what we're sayin fam?

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2 thoughts on “Oklahoma Man Shows Up Florida Man

  1. Old Gunny is laughing a stripe off right now❗️Damn this warmed my heart❗️Fine writes are a blessing these days❗️Carry on and please keep posting these quips❗️Gunny K

  2. Didn’t the lovely and oh-so-talented Ms. Clinton sell some U to the Russians? Perhaps she had herself a little startup cottage industry unbeknownst to the rest of the Klan – uh..clan. A little slice of uranium here, a little snake oil there…..And the poor little middleman catches the rap…….