Stormin Area 51
Categories: Funny, Military, News
We know it’s a joke, we’re just unsure of how many people are actually gonna show up. Cause, well people are dumb and gullible. Then get “kindly escorted” off the premises. Or if they try to bumrush that shit, how they gonna get got. There are tons of different options for how you can get got when trying to storm Area 51 and find out about aliens and shit.
First off there is the simple service rifle. Some Air Force MP or whatnot is going to smoke you from like 200 yards out, you won’t even really see him, but he’ll see you. Next up there are the crew-served weapons, but this is Area 51 so it ain’t gonna be no 240b medium machine gun, it’s gonna be an M134 minigun cutting you down in hordes. If they don’t use that, it’ll definitely be a drone strike that you won’t see coming. If not a drone strike, well…got some good and bad news for you. You’ll probably go down in history as the first guy to get smoked by a quantum fusion laser rifle. We doubt those pairings of words made sense, but you know…SciFi words together make it sound cool.
Secondly, if they took the threat even the slightest bit seriously, they’ve already moved all the alien shit elsewhere, you’re gonna storm an empty base where nobody is and left standing there, confused, like an idiot.
Thirdly, IF and this is a big IF, you find aliens and don’t get massacred in the process, it’s doubtful anyone will believe you. Afterall who is dumb enough to believe someone dumb enough to try and storm Area 51? Nobody. Everyone is just gonna assume it’s fake as shit.
If we’re going to believe in aliens, then we’re definitely going to need a massive “Take Me To Your Leader” event shit. We’re not going to believe a bunch of mouth-breathing neck bearded, drywall punching Kyles and Astrids.
But, come September 20th we’ll all see in living color that there is definitely not a lifeguard at the gene pool.
Fucking priceless. John give yourself one big ass pat on the back, perfect illustration.
Truth
I just hope it live streamed
Not really sure if you need a life guard if you’re hanging in the shallow end, then again, I don’t know who’d need the assistance more 😂
I agree either way I hope it’s streaming live lol
Is there a Taco Stand close by Aera 51 and some Binoculars
This is awesome keep up the great work. We have been talking about this at my work and the article is everything I have been saying!!! You are not getting on there no matter what.
You should make a shirt of it. People saying “They can’t catch all of us”. Yeah, we’ll see.
I’ll go with let’s get some food trucks out and some spotter scopes to watch the madness..
😂 Could be a great way to relieve ourselves of a bunch of Democrats.. Perhaps what these people need is a bit of encouragement.
Free smoothies for the 1st 250 people.
Cant wait to sit by and watch the government cull the stupid outta my generation. Stupid millennials
you forgot about the mine fields.
Is that motel still there. The little aleinn or hower you spell it. Combo of alien and inn as in motel.
Nothing is going to happen because Americans of this generation are lazy they would rather stay home and pretend to be soldiers play fortnite, let’s talk a real scenario the Russians did ever invade this country through Mexico there would be people like you and me to protect this country but most would throw rhetorical hands up so fast that the Russians would think they were ref at a football game
Breaking it down for these fools. 10/10, would recommend.
Thank you for that. Well said!!
Popcorn and a beer will be ready to observe on the boob tube. 😉