Oh North Korea

Categories: Military, News

Launching short-range ballistic missiles like a jealous ex-girlfriend lobbing insults just to get the attention they so desperately crave. We get it North Korea, we had a fling back in the ’50s and we penetrated deep almost past your borders, but then pulled out because we didn’t want to y’all to get pregnant.

Now they’re mad that we didn’t hang around and spend tons of cash money on them like we would have if they’d been cool like South Korea. See South Korea didn’t want to trap us with a baby, they just let us crash at their place, have some fun once in a while. They kept it light.

Now North Korea…they’re over here with the same toxic ex-girlfriend mentality, trying to goad us into one good hate-filled insertion again. It’s tiresome really, and it’s that kind of toxic behavior that lead us to dump them in the first place.

Shooting missiles off into the Sea of Japan like they’re impressing someone. It’s not impressive, it’s boring and predictable. One of two things or…well…maybe two of two things happened given the current state of the world.

Either we pissed off Beijing again and they asked you to act out to give us a headache, or our talks with North Korea have stalled and they wanted to act out to show that they were serious about whatever they threatened. It’s a tale as old as time and really, at this point, almost not even newsworthy.

Show of hands, who is alarmed when North Korea conducts “test launches”? Nobody right? Like a year or two ago it was a big deal, now…just par for the course with these whackados. It’ll be newsworthy if they shoot one at like say, South Korea or Japan and hit something. Now back to our regularly scheduled global conflict map where we can focus on Iran and Venezuela competing for who’s going to have Marines in them first.

Know what we're sayin fam?

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