Man Who Surrenders Weapon To Police Shocked!!
Categories: Funny, Satire, Totally Made Up And Not True
Self-proclaimed gun guy, Billy Smith has had enough with the mass shootings here in the United States. He told AG that “I just can’t stomach the fact that I’m now part of the problem.” Despite the fact that Billy has never once used his weapon illegally, and his purchase of the weapon was indeed on the up and up and legal, Billy still feels that he was contributing to a problem.
“I just…I just needed to get rid of this tool that has caused so much harm…I mean…not mine personally, I keep it locked in a safe and only I know the code, but you know, others like it.”
With the weight of his guilt weighing him down so much that he could barely get out of bed to walk, Billy made a decision. He was going to surrender his firearm to the local police department. They’d know exactly what to do and how to curb the violence inherent in the weapon.
“It’s the right thing to do. I know guns, I love guns, I grew up with guns, but despite me never using my weapon improperly and storing it in a completely safe and responsible manner…it needs to be out of my life.”
As he pulled into the police station, his heart felt a sense of relief, finally, he’d be doing something with his weapon that mattered. Getting rid of it. He walked in without his rifle at first and informed the police of his intent to turn in his firearm. An officer escorted him back to his car where said officer took positive control of the weapon and ensured it was clear. Billy made sure the entire action was captured on Facebook Live so that people could see his monumental act of peace and unity.
The self-licking ice cream cone that was Billy’s ego now enjoyed the freedom he had from a weapon that had never fired a shot in anger.
However, the feeling began to dwindle as Billy would sit down each evening to watch the news. Turning in his weapon in, in front of a Facebook audience of over three thousand live viewers with over four thousand shares…it didn’t do anything. Gun violence still existed despite his magnanimous act. Billy was now SHOCKED…and fearful…and sad. That rifle had cost him about $1500…and the police didn’t even reimburse him even a little bit for his rifle.
It’s almost like…people are shitty and have been murdering and killing people for like…a really long time, and that he, a law-abiding citizen turning in their rifle, is a really fucking stupid thing to do, because now you’re unarmed, and thanks to social media, EVERYONE KNOWS.