Area 51 Raid Cancelled, What A Bunch Of Cowards

Categories: Funny, News

The Area 51 Raid has been canceled by the original OG creator of said event. To which we say…What a bunch of cowards.

How in the fuck are you going to organize the grand scheme of clappin’ alien cheeks or even finding out if aliens exist, get everyone all hyped up about it and drop out like…a little over a week before the event? Now obviously, none of us were dumb enough to say that we were going to go raid Area 51, because the Air Force was definitely like;

“Hey, uh, we know this is going to be wildly unpopular, but like dudes, we will totally fucking shoot every last one of you.” -U.S. Air Force spokesman (probably)

So now, instead of sticking to their convictions, everyone that was going to go, including the OG organizer, have all chickened out. Which truth be told really really bums us out. We were going to set up a street taco food truck in the parking lot. It’s not like they are going to need the money later, and the last thing you wanna do is try to raid a place without proper nutrition. We were going to make a killin’…hmm maybe the wrong choice of words there, but nonetheless we are disappointed.

While many people are upset that we won’t learn the truth about aliens, just watch the entire Ancient Aliens series over and over and over again and after the like 123rd time watching it, you’ll just be convinced there are aliens and you won’t even have to get shot to find out, which, unless you had a death wish and Area 51 was the way you wanted to go…like you can still go. Hell even if you don’t have a death wish you can still go…just probably won’t be hordes of people there and you’ll definitely get singled out and shot, but at least you’ll have lived up to your convictions.

Disclaimer: We’re not trying to encourage you to go to Area 51. Trying to forcefully enter a U.S. military base will totally, definitely get you shot, probably multiple times, and if you’re super unlucky and there are aliens, you aren’t gonna be the one clappin’ cheeks. Consider this your warning and us covering our asses.

Know what we're sayin fam?

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15 thoughts on “Area 51 Raid Cancelled, What A Bunch Of Cowards

  1. Ha ha ha this is great !!! I guess the organizers realized the USAF means “use of deadly force authorized” (well it DOES say it on the signs) Lmao

  2. I’d put money on thousands still showing up regardless of what the organizers do. It started as an online event but someone got a bit carried away. We tried to visit Mercury in the middle of the night, 5000 watt lights on us the second we turned off the highway. 😳😂

  3. the there never was a raid it was an art gallery opening in las vegas that a bunch of adults were trying to profit off the children and speaking of children how about those illegal aliens being held captive by our government for medical experiments child trafficking walls to be built and oil and gas pipelines to be constructed straight in to the ocean of the mexican border so our oceans might get pollution and earthquakes start happening next we will be raging revolutionary wars and sending our president to mars and invading australia for there biochemist cloned cat labs. were there killing thousands of cats and cloning rodents. all for a chance to test and see if concrete will harden in space lol. no to mention if it does the weight of other planets falling off is going to throw the whole balance of our earths tilt to the sun of course and now there are less days in a year then originally counted or less hours in a day or shorter seasons and total chaos. some things should just be left alone. and i hate to say it but all we care about is money for taco trucks and clapping our but cheeks and your gonna make a fortune off desert festivals with the wrong mission of burning men and drugging our generations of rich hippies. …..here is idea take a survey for as a register voter and contribute to those autobots there there trying to get to take over life on planet earth be the 90 year old answering questions about what the elementary schools need while they haven’t set food in a one for years or ask your self why the city of oxnard one of the most riches city’s in california has donated 6 million of there 8 million dollar budget to fund high school lab tops while the only water planet to de-saltanize ocean water is rioting away and homelessness is a problem almost everywhere also the hurricanes and floods down south why have we not still fixed this problem ???? yet the white house has been remodeled and the queen of europe is eating children. ???? what is this world coming to….i will tell you it is coming to las vegas the cheapest bang for your buck and so that was the original area 15 plan anyways.

    1. Bet you never served in the military (or other government agency); therefore, those “pussies” (as you so called them) have far more guts than you do. But that’s just my opinion (a combat vet).

      So go back to your mom’s basement and enjoy your hot-pocket!

    2. Maybe so, but frat boys are the biggest wimps I know.
      Pussy-whipped cowards who expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter. You’re going down, soyboy.

  4. I would go to area 51…but skinwalker ranch sound sooooo much more fun.
    Plus the nazi whales are away until next solstice and I don’t want to miss their party when they get back to the commissary on the base…lol

  5. I’m still going. I don’t even care if nobody else shows up for the event. I am still going to go raid A51!
    This is going to be so much fun.
    There are already over 3.6 Million people who’ve signed up. I’m pretty sure at least some of them will show up and do the raid with me!