What To Say When People Tell You Guns Aren’t Safe

Categories: Funny, Shooting

As we can see here "Steve" is totes ready for Revolution Part Deux: Electric Boogaloo.

So many people clamoring about how guns aren’t safe, it’s nauseating. Of course guns aren’t safe, that’s the entire purpose of the gun is to be not safe, unless of course, it is on safe, then it should be safe, but you still shouldn’t point it at anything you don’t want to destroy, or put your nasty booger hook on the trigger, or assume for some reason that it doesn’t have a round in the chamber…see what we did there? Anyways, moving on, when people come up to you either in person or decide to make a stand in the ever hallowed halls of the Facebook comment section, letting you know how dangerous these weapons are, you should/could say a vast multitude of phrases, but in case you come up dry when the pressure is on, we’ve got some handy copy/paste phrases for you to have at your disposal.

“Duh.”
You should say this because, like, dude, of course, guns aren’t safe. People that tell you guns aren’t safe, act like they’re revealing this gigantic secret to you, but in reality…we already know, and just saying duh, will usually frustrate them to no end, making them say even more ridiculous shit, that will no doubt entertain you and your friends for hours. And get this, that entertainment, aside from your monthly internet or cell phone bill, is totally free.

“Good.”
See, people that tell you this kind of obvious information are expecting you to suddenly act out in revulsion of your choice to have a firearm. By telling them “good”, it informs them that you know full well what that weapon is capable of doing and you’re quite pleased that it does its job, so that when/if the Revolution Part Deux: Electric Boogaloo ever kicks off, you’ll have the chance to not get robbed and murder deathed.

“Neither is allowing you to vote, but here we are.”
We know we know we know, you shouldn’t resort to ad hominem attacks when it comes to polite discourse, but…it’s a gun grabber. They don’t want you to have the means to defend yourself from a tyrant. There is nothing polite about that. Make fun of them as much as you’re able because you’re certainly not going to change the mind of such an obvious intellectual.

“Send Bachelors, Come Heavily Armed.”
Many will question this statement and what it has to do with their assertion on guns not being safe. What you’re doing with this statement is letting them know you see through their gun grabby bullshit and know exactly what they are insinuating, that someone will come to your house and try to forcibly take your firearms. If that type of tyrannical bullshit does happen, you’re letting them know it’s best to send people with no family reliant upon them and for their own sake (plus ours, looting is a great pastime) to come with big weapons.

“Guns aren’t dangerous, people are dangerous if you look at the historical data regarding the actions of mankind throughout history, we are a vile, violent and stubborn species prone to tyranny and abuse of our fellow man, I’ll stay armed, thank you.”
If you feel you must be polite to a gun grabber, you can copypasta that shit right there and let them know politely that you’ll shoot a tyrant in their motherfucking face if necessary.