Unpopular Opinion: DoD Shouldn’t Apologize
Categories: Funny, Military, News
“For what? These amateur ass writers should know to put the full article in the title so we don’t have to fucking read!” – Nearly everyone who will read this
Ok, ok you caught us, but to be fair, it’d be a really long title. Imagine this as a title. “DoD Apologizes to Millenial Raiders of Area 51 for Threatening (jokingly) to Bomb Them”. Fuck that’d be a long title. Also…we don’t think the DoD should apologize. Why not?
Several reasons. The first of which being gun control. If the DoD even jokes about killing you, the civilian, it’s a great idea that you have the same kind of weaponry they do, so you can say “Not today you soft croissant ass bitch!” See, if they apologized then it’d be them saying that the government won’t really kill it’s people, when the truth is, as we all know from Randy Weaver and Ruby Ridge, you know…not fuckin’ true.
Reason numero deux, these are grown-ass adults who are fully capable of making decisions for themselves…you know…not great decisions, but decisions nonetheless. Now, we, more than anyone don’t want to see a stealth bomber droppin’ loads on our own countrymen, but if they’d actually tried to raid Area 51…it’s not really unexpected that they’d find some sort of force (if not lethal) levied on them. Is it shitty? Yeah. Could it have been prevented? Yeah, by not trying to raid a military base, fuckin muppets.
Thirdly, everyone knew it was a joke and if you didn’t then you’re “that guy”. You all know “that guy”. He’s the guy that will fight you over a parking spot at McDonald’s. He’s the guy that will literally shiv you on Black Friday. He’s the guy that is banned from every single Applebee’s within a 50-mile radius.
So no, the Department of Defense shouldn’t apologize, because WHY in the FUCK would they use a stealth bomber against unarmed to lightly armed group of raiders when they could more cost-effectively use a few Apache helicopters or some shit. Flying a stealth bomber is fucking expensive. In fact, it’s $135,000 per flight hour to operate a B-2 as opposed to an Apache helicopter’s $3,851.18 per flight hour. Quick, someone do the fucking math! How many helicopters could loiter for 3 hours, raining death and destruction, before it became a better option to fly the B-2 for one hour?
Maybe, just maybe…and we know we’re going out on a crazy limb here. If you don’t want the Department of Defense to joke about dropping bombs, maybe you shouldn’t show up on the doorstep to Area 51 joking about raiding their base.
If you still want to do the latter, that’s fine, but when the DoD makes an equally funny joke…laugh at it instead, because it’s a joke. Not a dick.
Your obviously someone who has either never been in the military, or only did a two year tour and never deployed anywhere. The military is all about operational security. (OPSEC) any violation of a military perimeter is an immediate threat to the security of the entire installation.
The entirety of the fence around are 51 is covered with signs, not only for civilian safety to alert them to unexploded ordinance on ranges, and trespass signs, but large signs reading “The use of deadly force is authorized” if people are to dumb to understand what warning that sign is implicating they should probably spend more time in high school. Even a massive “lightly armed” breach of the area 51 perimeter would be considered an attack on the base by an organized armed group. As a former soldier I understand that if your stupid enough to do something like storm the perimeter of a secure facility with any kind of weapon, you probably deserve to get shot. If you bring 1000 lightly armed friends, your dumbasses deserve to get bombed.
Too many idiots in these new generations think they can do whatever they want with no consequences. If they make a dumb choice like storm area 51 they will find out exactly what consequences mean, and they’ll deserve every single bomb.
I gotta say, I love your opening sentence. I mean it’s pretty clear in my bio what I did, and where exactly are you disagreeing with me…maybe reading comprehension isn’t your strong suit.