Missing Marine Found in Arizona Allegedly Planning Attacks Against Cartels and Traffickers
Categories: Military, News
20-year old Job Wallace, a Marine stationed at Camp Pendelton, was home on leave in Arizona. He was expected to be back on base on September 17th, but homeboy never showed up.
Lance Corporal Wallace had apparently grown unhappy with his life in the Marine Corps…(like duh, yeah that’s part of being in the Marine Corps, if you’re having fun, you’re doing it wrong) and decided to be like;
“You know what, fuck dis dum shit, I’m gonna go kill drug cartels and human traffickers in Mexico.” – Lcpl Wallace…probably
This dude had cleaned out all of his personal shit from his room on base and claimed he heard voices sayin’ he should go wreak havoc on human traffickers on the border with his personally owned firearms. Nice, right? If you’re going to have voices in your head telling you to do shit, killing human traffickers, is probably the best way that can go.
This dude is all kinds of probably not doing well and needs some help, but part of us…man part of us admire him. Human traffickers suck, and if this dude heard voices telling him to go smoke some human traffickers, then despite how politically incorrect it might be, we’re damn well fine with him going and painting the house red with the blood of human traffickers.
Anyways, to summarize up to this point and get this story moving, homeboy went UA after leave, decided he wanted to kill traffickers of drugs and people, dude owned several weapons. He was found outside of Dallas at a rest stop and is in custody.
It is unclear at this time whether or not Lcpl. Wallace is an infantry Marine or non-combat arms.
NOW…good initiative, bad judgment, and really, really bad execution.
First off, you’d want at least like one other dude to conduct at least a minimally successful ambush. This shit ain’t Hollywood. Get two or three dudes to help you.
Secondly, bro why the fuck was he in Dallas? He was already close to the border in Arizona. This mofo had to have failed Land Nav.
Thirdly, there were no automatic weapons in his possession. How are you gonna get some without a base of fire from an automatic weapon? C’mon dude. Plan your ambush better.
Fourth, how you gonna get caught at a rest stop. For shame. Making the Marine Corps look bad with your shit execution.
We want to like him for his initiative, but fuck us if we’re not disappointed in how he carried out his plan. Poor form. Poor form indeed.
Dude is in all kinds of need of repair. Get his head right, give him some fire power and a couple more nut jobs and send him back to the border!!!! Oooahhh
Get some meth heads, give them $100in meth, tell them $100 more after the assault.
There, hes got his sappers. Plus they’ll steal all the copper in the placr.
Then he goes thru after for clean up, as he has a GOPRO. Bam, he’s a hero
If he had been even a little bit successful it would have played out much better.
I blame his chain of command for not properly training him.
Too many times watching the boondocks saints??? Or Devine intervention caused by normal diplomacy ??? Or some fucked redirect?
Indeed. The Gunnyswife disapproves.
IF HE WAS AN ARMY GRUNT HE’D KNOW THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!
Get’em Some!!!!
amazing article oorah
Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance…
This could have been epic
Truly appreciate the Marines… Really, I do😆
Hooah! AATW😎🇺🇸
If we can send you guys/girls over seas and where ever the fuck else ,
Why dont we have some kind of Squad like this at our boarders ?
Fighting this kind of fight keep this shit out of our Country?
Send the f*^kstick back and have him deploy with the next unit leaving for Afghanistan. Have him stand firewatch alone at the shitters. At the top over every hour, he can recite all his general orders.
I love how you write your articles…just straight up:)
If his cojones are too small to survive the USMC, they’re too small for his he man plan. I believe the terms are absent without leave, failure to repair, and dereliction of duty; he ran away because he CHOSE NOT TO FULFILL HIS OATH. In essence He’s a big talking bitch avoiding his responsibilities, must be a democrat. I do like his target selection but he’s a very poor choice of weapon to engage that target with!!
Lmao…”A” for effort, “F” for execution!!!
Totally agree. This guy didnt do his Combat 5 paragraph order., patrol plan, contingency plam, break contact plan.
Dude watches too much John Wick, Charles Bronson, or Bruce Willis.
At least hire some gang bangers to set up a base of fire as he assaults the objective.
If he was watching John Wick, he would’ve done it right. Hahaha
Bwahahaha Get Some Marine!
Sounds like he had a decent cover story for going to Dallas to be catfished. What’s the APR on the vehicle he drove? Is he friends with strippers in Dallas on Facebook?
Definitely needed more fire power. My guess is POG.
Why wouldn’t he treat this like a hunting/scout trip. He could have gone back from leave, used that time to study maps, acquire various skills/knowledge and the proper equipment. Figure out the most likely path or course the bad guys are taking and plan from there. It would also give him time to recruit….which wouldn’t be all that hard….like,at all.
I love your narrative on shit. I swear you should do global news lol. Keep up the great work man
Very well articulated.
Awesome article. I was wondering where you wer going with it, but I like the approach. Absolutely Teufelshundesque
I’ve got to hand it to him for strength of character because, as far as characters go, he one.John
I knew there was more than ‘UA’ involved!
First time reader, love your writing style. This article will have me coming back for more. Good job on hooking me you got an fan.
Semper Fi… he’ll be back. Maybe he’ll learn some shit first…
Love your style! 😂 That poor guy. God bless him. We hope he gets help but good for him for being properly crazy!
Not direct enough. Write it again.
The hill doesnt want MARINES on the border due to high kill rate and etc issues. MARINES don’t deal with politics very well. MARINES focus on what needs to be done to accomplish whatever mission at hand. Not whom gonna get the most votes. Handling business, removing whats/ whoms necessary, and standing by for next orders is what WE do. Many hate how we handle things, but when the world is turned upside down, everyone says SEND IN THE MARINES!!!!!!!! So until I get assigned to the heavenly gates, I’ll stay locked and loaded and continue to provide freedom under my watch….. DEVIL DOG OUT
You pointed out all of the right shit. Semper Fidelis.
As much as I like this, the area you’re in depends on how much the meth is. So instead of $100 worth, an eight ball would probably do better.
A ball to start and a ball after the job is done.
And they’d have to be fresh meth heads, many succumb to drug induced psychosis.
He could have gotten some illegals and said that the way they can earn their us citizenship is to do what the meth heads would have done, if they weren’t so high on meth…
🤣🤣🤣