The Infamous IWGJB School and People Who Fake Going There

Categories: Military, Satire, Totally Made Up And Not True

Many schools offer great training for troops, law enforcement, and first responders alike. Guys that have been in the military or become experts in their field have gone on to establish training programs that enhance our ability to fight, save lives and be more efficient in doing so. There is however another school, theoretical in its application of tactics and skills. It is the famed IWGJB school for advanced military operations.

As with all elite schools, people who never went to that school will claim they went just to rack up points. However, the IWGJB is so nuanced in its tactics that you’re never quite sure if the person you’re talking to went to that school to learn the valuable skills they teach at IWGJB, truth is, they probably didn’t because, despite the signature catchphrase/name/motto of the school, they lack the fine touch that one learns at IWGJB.

The rampant problem with fakers claiming to have attended IWGJB is nothing more than evidence of the school’s success. If nobody was lying about going there, then it’d be clear that the school was a total and complete failure. But…since nearly everyone you run into tells you the line IWGJB is famous for.

“I Was Going To Join But…”

All sorts of obvious non-sequiturs come following that initial statement. Things like;

“…I had good grades so I’m gonna go to college.”

or

“…I don’t do well with authority, if a drill sergeant got in my face, I’d punch him!”

or

“…they didn’t want the war to be over that soon, I’d kill everyone.”

or

“…I’m not really into Call of Duty.”

The way you can tell if someone actually has been to the school is if they say something legitimately viable like;

“…I broke my leg in sixteen places.”

or

“…yo fuck that I’m no tryin’ to get shot.”

or

“I just didn’t want to.”

Thank you all for taking the time to read what we consider to truly be a public service announcement, that allows you to spot imposters who never went through the patented IWGJB curriculum.

Know what we're sayin fam?

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One thought on “The Infamous IWGJB School and People Who Fake Going There

  1. A retired Marine full bird, who served his way up from private, once told me, “I was going to join, so I did”.