Reaction To Greta Thunberg Not Receiving the Nobel Peace Prize

Categories: News, Opinion

Shocked. Purely shocked and dismayed and appalled and disgusted and utterly shameful, that it took this long for everyone to realize the farcical nature of having a child, Greta Thunberg, throw a temper tantrum in front of the U.N. is not Nobel Peace Prize-worthy. Shocked we are…

Look, first off, let’s get this faux pax out of the way. We don’t think it’s right to utilize kids to formulate an emotional plea. In the realm of science, what is important is not emotion, but facts. Lay the facts out and tada. Now, we’re not super spun up on our climate change science, so we’re not going to open that can of worms. But, we do know a little about healthy adolescent development.

Here’s how you don’t ensure that a child grows up to be a well-adjusted functioning member of society; have them miss school and miss out on their childhood by filling their heads with Chicken Little-esque ideas of impending and unstoppable doom, having them perform an action that is ultimately counterproductive to the argument they are making (sailing across the ocean, then having four people fly over to sail it back), then have them literally throw a temper tantrum in grand fashion at the U.N., then  further their humiliation by asserting that those previous actions were somehow worthy of the Nobel Peace Prize and ultimately come up short.

That’s how you destroy a child. That’s how you ruin a child and once again we’ll say it for the people in the back who weren’t listening the first time we fucking said it.

Don’t use children to push your agenda. Use reason and logic, not children you’ve taught to fear their own shadow and react with crocodile tears to get their way.

We’ve got no hate for Greta. We just hate that she was set up so miserably and failed so spectacularly that we highly doubt anything she does in her future will redeem her from this colossal failure. Hope the parents and puppets are proud of ruining a child’s life. Self-righteous sanctimonious asshats.

Know what we're sayin fam?

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