Turkey Is Not Holding Our Nukes Hostage…
Categories: Military, News
We hope. Like, literally how fucking stupid would that be to hold nuclear weapons hostage? Can you imagine, the shitstorm that would occur if Turkey actually said that we can’t have our nuclear weapons back? They would fucking die. Literally. They would get their ass kicked so hard the bacteria on a comet in another part of the galaxy would feel that shit.
So no. Turkey is not holding our nuclear weapons hostage. Because that’s about the dumbest fucking thing they could do. Instead what’s happening is we’re trying to figure out the best way to remove the nuclear weapons from Turkey.
Let us say this again. WE ARE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE BEST WAY TO REMOVE THE WEAPONS WITHOUT CAUSING FEAR/PANIC. For once, we’re being measured and thoughtful about how we’re moving fifty nuclear weapons. You should be happy about that. It’s not something we oughtta do on a whim.
While it seems simple to just, load up the bombs and fly ’em out or ship them out of Turkey, there are obviously some large security risks that must be accounted for before you go moving 50 nuclear weapons. We’re betting, that just maybe, some countries don’t want us flying over them with nuclear weapons aboard or going through their territorial waters. Armed or not, the news of this happening would undoubtedly cause a freakout and panic among the populace.
“People are smarter than that!” – random internet guy
No, they aren’t. As George Carlin said, a person, an individual, is smart. People in large groups are fucking dumb. We may have paraphrased it a little bit, but you should get the point.
So no, please do not freak out about the headline that many people are sharing saying
“Turkey holding 50 US nuclear bombs ‘hostage’ at air base, report says”
They are just there, without a really solid plan of getting them out, should we decide that’s what we want to do. Like we said, moving nuclear weapons is not as simple as moving your old couch to your new apartment.
Imagine the panic and fear if one little thing goes wrong moving these types of weapons from Turkey ALLLLLLLL the way back to the United States. One thing. One little thing goes wrong transporting nukes and the mass hysteria would be ridiculous.

Not worried about it. If it’s not in an airplane it’s behind a button. That’s why you can’t even take a tylenol without it being documented in medical records When dealing with those sorts of things. They are a doomsday device, as a result they keep us safe because noone wants to touch off the BBQ. They aren’t toys to be played with, or bought and sold like a game of Risk.
Grammar mistakes. Good read though
r/whoosh
But it was a game of risk at the time. We gave them to Greece because we gave them to Turkey. They each wanted each other at the time. Turkey can prevent us from removing them, getting them out from the 2 man control gate could pose a problem. 2 man gate refers to all nuclear weapons under US control, which they are in Turkey. Other option is blowing them in place, what a mess, besides I don’t know if a popcorn effect could happen, really bad. Take it from someone who was in Greece once doing that thing
I find it interesting that the news is making a big deal about this, they dont seem to care about you when the military moves nukes from state to state which they do. You don’t NEED to know or think you have any control over it. It will be done when and how the Govt. decides. It’s good that the fact that they are not being used as collateral has been established but no reason to bring up or create a scare about their movement. They will be secured, nuff said.
Like we said man, an individual is smart, people in large groups, are fucking stupid.