SHOT Show the shit show
Categories: Entertainment, Funny, Opinion, Satire
Here we go once again ladies and gentlemen, the comic con of military, law enforcement and outdoor enthusiasts, SHOT Show 2020!
You’d be higher than giraffe p***y if you think this was anything less than a balls to the wall, testosterone filled candy shop.
Featuring like a billion fucking vendors, this is the exclusive “Who’s Who” of the tactical and hunting industry. Enough guns were present to arm the entire state of Delaware.
CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS was there!? Rumor is they offered to pay him $50,000, but Chuck Norris declined. Instead Mr. Norris was allowed to kill at least one person there, with his bare hands, at any given moment. He didn’t, because he’s an American hero, but Chuck just liked knowing he had the option if he wanted.
In addition to that, all of our favorite three letter agencies were there. I’m not one to speculate, but they probably had facial recognition software and we’re all now on some weird database. Having the ATF there is kind of like having your mom as your chaperone at prom. Yeah sure you can still have fun, but you can’t spike the punch.
I guess it was the conference’s way of showing they supported gun safety and nothing illegal would take place. Or maybe someone flirted their way in, who knows? Can you imagine a mid-40s FBI agent with a glorious handlebar mustache seducing the girl checking tickets?! Tom Selleck would be so proud.
One of my personal favorites of these events are the booth babes. Nothing like having a model explain to you the finer points of a long-stroke gas piston operating system. Hard not to fall in love, no? Deep breaths, stay cool.
In conclusion, this event was like many other expos around the country. It definitely had a much more casual and friendly vibe. Picture AUSA in DC , with less suits and more Grunt Style shirts and beards.
It’s was my guilty pleasure to geek out over the latest and greatest tools used to make war and peace. So you can bet you will see me back next year.