Pinks and greens
Phase III of the new uniform role out began in April of 2020. This is when the new Army uniform became “Available for purchase through Army and Air Force Exchange Service.” In July 2020, the uniforms were “Issued to Soldiers upon completion of Advanced Individual Training.” This has met mixed reviews from Active duty and Veterans alike.
However, younger soldiers were not as unambiguous with their remarks. “The pinks and greens clash with my beret,” say SSG Notaleg. The 24 year old paratrooper then held up his maroon beret next to the uniform for our comparison. We concur, it did indeed clash. He also went on to say that he hated the new pinks and greens, because “We look like discount Marines.” SSG Notaleg remarked everyone in his unit thought the Marine service alphas uniform was much sharper in comparison. He concluded by saying “We got the great value version, while Marines are over there looking Gucci!”
A soldier, who wished to remain anonymous, said she thought the uniform was mainly just for officers and NCOs that were “WWII nerds.” She then stated “Higher should spend less time messing with uniforms, and more time worrying about Fort Hood!”
However, The Army is not calling them “pinks and greens” anymore. Army Greens is now the official title. The new classification, has done little to deter soldiers from still referring to them by the old nickname. Especially while expressing their dissatisfaction with the uniform. The move left some extremely puzzled. Especially, while wondering why a new uniform is required, when barracks are infested with black mold.
The Army has made a habit of changing uniforms multiple times over the last few decades. “I wish they’d pick something and just stick to it,” says retired Sergeant Major Frank Grumpy. Furthermore, SGM Grumpy says “Back in my day..” then began to rant, unintelligibly for 20 or 30 minutes. Finally, uttering something about haircuts before breaking wind and falling asleep. A stunning display of salty wisdom.
Regardless of the sloppy roll out, we are positive that no soldiers will have to pay out of pocket for this uniform. We are certain commanders will ensure everyone is issued the uniform. Particularly, before insisting that soldiers spend money out of pocket to purchase this for meaningless inspections.
What do you think of the new uniform? Sound off in the comments below!