Woman, 86, Beats off Attacker with Bacon

The versatility of bacon is already well known. Lip balm, bandages, and bouquets already exist as a testament to the king of all food (you’re welcome). One might have thought the uses for it were, well, all used up. But who knew you could make it into a weapon?

When a woman withdrew a large sum of money on Monday afternoon, she didn’t expect to be the victim of a robbery. Apparently, her attacker followed her and waited for a good time to strike.

A still-unknown woman grabbed her cart, and demanded the money. That’s when the 86-year-old lady pulled out the ultimate defense.

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Reports from local police stated that she, “defended herself by repeatedly hitting the female offender over the head with a packet of bacon.”

Take some time and read the comments on the Facebook post regarding the incident; they’re absolute gold.

When confronted with such an iron-clad defense, the would-be robber backed down and fled the scene. So our hero got to bring home the bacon… and bring home the bacon.

Let’s all make ourselves a Bacon Explosion and celebrate this glorious accomplishment! (Again, you’re welcome.)



Know what we're sayin fam?

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3 thoughts on “Woman, 86, Beats off Attacker with Bacon”

  1. Came here because of nomenclatural misunderstanding with the title. Still wasn’t disappointed. Maybe next time say fends off with bacon instead of beats off with bacon.

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