Grunt Style Funny Shorts: Blue Falcon
Everyone hates that guy. Literally everyone and yet, everyone has been that guy. The Blue Falcon. You know him, you hate him, always screwing you over when he should be covering for you. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s a trainwreck but you can always guarantee there will be one waiting to rat you out.
It’s a funny thing, the military. We watch each other’s backs, but when say “Corporal Smith” got a little too drunk and is now missing morning PT…well, your buddy should cover for you, right? It’s not like this is a habit of “Corporal Smith” and it only happened once. Nobody is perfect, surely “Smith” can count on his friends to tell the platoon sergeant that he’s at the battalion aid station (BAS) or at a dental appointment. Something, anything would be better than being a snitch and throwing “Smith” under the bus. However, that’s not how the blue falcon operates. See the blue falcon’s moral compass is so strong that it trumps his loyalty to his friends.
The blue falcon will happily and readily tell the platoon sergeant that “Corporal Smith” is indeed at neither BAS nor a dental appointment. In fact, most of the time he’ll wait to do so until everyone else has already tried to cover for “Corporal Smith” with a unified story about where he is. It is then that it will happen. “Corporal Smith is passed out hungover and sick, in his room Staff Sergeant.” And here we go. Not only will “Corporal Smith” be in trouble but now the rest of you will be in trouble as well.
Nevermind the fact that the infamous Blue Falcon is getting punished with you. He’ll have a smile on his face, knowing he did the “right thing.” Ain’t that some shit right there? Who does that anyway?