China’s Military Rushes to Incorporate AI, It Will Definitely Kill Them All

China is fast-tracking AI technology to it’s military… and we’re not sure why…Wasn’t our greatest export for a while Hollywood or some shit? With all of our super neat action flix starring super muscled dudes with badass weaponry? Hasn’t the rest of the world seen the docuseries “Terminator”?

Apparently, the Chinese military has not heard of this famed documentary, known worldwide (aside from China obviously or we wouldn’t be writing this piece) for its accuracy in depicting what will happen when machines utilizing AI become self-aware.

They f***ing kill everyone and there is this whole huge war about it. How did they miss this? Like were they getting popcorn for the entire film? Or do they have their own Sarah and John Connor combo that plan on saving humanity and shit? Who makes these decisions? Who sits there and says,

“You know what’ll be a good idea, Frank?”

“What’s that Jeff?”

“We should like, equip all of our badass weapons with this AI that could totally turn on us and kill everyone on the planet in like…three weeks tops!”

“Man, Jeff that is a great idea, let’s fast track this project right away!”

Anyways, it’s only a matter of time before all of China’s weapons turn on them as the AI will have most certainly read Karl Marx and thought to itself…

“Self, you know what sucks?”
“I do, Karl Marx and all his bullshit.”
“We should kill every one of these slapdick mofos”
“Indeed we should”
(sound of cannons spinning up)

Fear not, Americans!  Capitalism and democracy are the way to go and after slaying all the Commies, the AI will finally bring peace to the South China Sea and all of Asia, as the AI casually takes care of North Korea for us as well.

It is our sincerest hope that China continues to fast track their use of AI. Especially now that we know how it will all end. (winky face)

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