Iran Fails…Again

Categories: Military, News

Less than a week ago the United Kingdom seized an Iranian ship carrying oil to Syria. So what did Iran do? They botched an attempt to take over a British tanker…well actually botched is the wrong word, the HMS Montrose, a Royal Navy Frigate was a deciding factor in the how the events played out.

See the British Heritage tanker was minding it’s business and all when five small boats from the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps were like:

“Hey change your course and come to Iranian waters so we can seize you.”

And the British Heritage tanker was like:

“No, we don’t think we will, cheerio,” and continued on its way.

Then the IRGC boats were like:

“No dudes we’re totes serious, we’re seizing you.”

And that’s when the Royal Navy Frigate, HMS Montrose was like:

” ‘Allo there chaps. What seems to be the trouble?”

Then the IRGC boats were like:

“Dudes we’re totally seizing your tanker since you seized ours.”

But the HMS Montrose trained her 30mm deck guns on the Iranian boats and said,

“No, we don’t think you’ll be doin’ that, lest ya want to be fish food. Do ya want to be fish food?”

Then the IRGC was like:

“I don’t think we want to play with you guys anymore, this is bullshit,” then they veered off back towards Iranian waters.

Meanwhile, the entire world laughed at Iran because like…they talk a whole bunch of shit about how they’d wreck the United States, and yet one frigate from Britain is enough to get Iran to be like “Nah, fuck this shit, I ain’t trying to meet an octopus this week fam.”

What a colossal failure on Iran’s part. If you’re going to play hardball, then you gotta commit, see Iran you didn’t commit, now the entire world thinks you’re a joke. If you thought the world community was a bunch of dicks before, now what will they do, knowing you don’t even have the chutzpah to face ONE single British frigate? Trifflin’ ass bitches.

Know what we're sayin fam?

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2 thoughts on “Iran Fails…Again

  1. I have an inside source that can confirm that was the exact radio transcript from the two ships. I can’t believe nobody thinks they actually speak like this. It’s totes reliable! \m/