British SAS Smokes Dudes with Benelli M4

Categories: Funny, Military, News

We haven’t had one of these “feel-good shoot em up good guy wins the day with extreme violence” type of stories in a while. So we figured it’s time, despite the sun setting on the British Empire at an alarming rate, them SAS shooti bois still know how to get the job done. And despite how we usually talk a lot of shit on the crown and remind them that we started from scratch, way late in the game and we’re still the numba one stunna, best run and gunna the world has ever seen, we’re gonna give them shooti bois from the SAS some props on this shit right here.

Precision shooting is cool. It really is. It’s even cooler when you do it with some speed. Being able to quickly put a teeny tiny projectile onto a precise location multiple times at multiple different angles…man, that shit gets us excited. NOW imagine how excited we are when someone does that shit with a shotty. Yeah, not so much a teeny tiny projectile anymore.

So we find our hero today, Mr. SAS Man armed with a Benelli shotgun conducting a raid with a bunch of his other SAS shooti bois. Homeboy goes into a bomb-making facility where ISIS dudes can go on an IED shopping spree and immediately encounters three discount bomb shoppers. After ensuring the winners of the IED shopping spree spine’s don’t look like anything resembling a spine, or human tissue via the 12 gauge in his hands, he moves on. Now…we’re not going to move on. Think of how quick you gotta be when you’re a mere few feet away from these Jihadi Jim’s. It’d be impressive with a carbine and homeboy dispatches these three jamokers with all 12 gauges of discontent.

*happy murder death noises*

Two homies of our now deceased and splattered jihadis poked their heads around the corner wondering;

“Hey did our buddies just get smoked by a shotty? We should totes expose ourselves, we def won’t die!” 

But then they did die. Dude with the shotty was like;

“Ah fack, sorry chaps, I missed two!” 

And he subsequently emptied those two dudes of the Tropical Punch Kool-Aid lookin’ liquid pumping through their veins.

Total time between the first shot and last shot. According to sources, seven seconds. Five wankers, five rounds, seven seconds, two headshots. Homeboy was like;

“Can I get my kills to go, I’m in a bit of a rush.”

While he’s not an American, it truly is a story that we can all enjoy. Have a great weekend!

Know what we're sayin fam?

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2 thoughts on “British SAS Smokes Dudes with Benelli M4

  1. Dude, I love your shit; but, please work on punctuation. Do it for the children!

    Other than that, Bravo Zulu on your journalism. The MSM should take notes.