In Littleton, Ohio, a group of anti-gun protestors were shocked when they showed up to the local convention center to find that instead of Moms Demand Action For Gun Sense, they instead found a local singles group, Moms Demand Action, having their yearly banquet.
A singles group, Moms Demand Action took off 3 years ago in Littleton, as one recently divorced mother of two grew tired of all of the gimmicky matchmaking sites that never really worked out.
“I’m incredibly self-sufficient, I don’t really need a man for taking me out on dates or, killing spiders, I do that on my own, all I really want is a little action. I formed this group for moms who aren’t looking to play any games. We want one thing and one thing only, I think you all can tell what that is.” – Michele “Madame” Jackson.
Moms Demand Action grew by leaps and bounds within its first two years as single mothers everywhere found the honesty empowering. A group of over five hundred were expected at this year’s banquet. Which in Ms. Jackson’s eyes, is a resounding success.
However, anti-gun protestors from Littleton were extremely disappointed in the realization that they were not showing up for the same Moms Demand Action event.
“I came here ready to participate in an echo-chamber scream-a-thon with all my friends regarding the absolute insanity of our current gun laws, but I mean…there are some really good looking women here, so it’s not a total loss. Maybe these moms will want common-sense gun laws as well,” said a hopeful man by the name of Richard C. Uckhold
The topic of sharing the event hall came up as the two groups mingled but, that idea was quickly shot down.
Mary Anne Rosenberg, who has been a part of Moms Demand Action for two years now told us, “Look, we may be single moms just looking for a little action, but we’re not dumb. Nearly every single one of us carries a gun because sometimes even though it’s just sex we’re after, idiots just don’t understand that ‘no means no’.”
In the end, some of the protestors decided to take out their angst on many of the gun-toting moms from Moms Demand Action. The situation quickly went from awkward, to bad, to worse with anti-gun protestors threatening some of the ladies from Moms Demand Action. The de-facto leader of the protest group, Mr. Benjie Zane, did eventually apologize to Ms. Jackson for the group’s behavior.
“I’m sorry Ms. Jackson, I am for real when I say that the situation could have been handled better and we never meant to make anyone cry.” -Benjie Zane.
Ms. Jackson did not accept the apology, as it asserts that her group was the ones crying when in reality, it was the protest group who cried when one protestor got a little too physically aggressive and had about six or seven women draw down on him, leading to his tearful retreat.
The city manager’s office promises that the city’s schedule of events will be more thorough and detailed in the future.