So you’ve finally graduated and earned the title you set out for. Depending on your Boot Camp, you may go home right away, or it may be a few more months. Regardless, you eventually get to go back home. Thus, no one is exempt from these time honored traditions every new join does.
Wake up too early
We all want to sleep in our first day after leaving basic training. Not gonna happen, warrior. Now you’re a battle bred killing machine and at zero-dark-thirty your natural war boner says it’s go time. Immediately your eyes will spring wide open. You may even instinctually hop out of bed. The moment you realize that you have no one to impress, you’ll mutter profanity and go back to sleep. This wears off eventually, but we’ve all had that moment of panic.
Try to impress people
You can always tell a new join because they say things no one says in normal conversation. Now occasionally “kill” will slip out as a response, but that is just the nature of the business. We’re talking about saying “converge on the objective at twenty hundred hours” when talking about meeting your family at Applebees for dinner. No one calls a water fountain a “scuttlebutt” guys, but we’ve all said some high speed phrase to impress people. You might have even wore your dog tags, or camel back to show off. Now we just wear sweet irreverent t-shirts to impress our friends.
Boot Camp impressions
“What is your major malfunction numbnuts??” With your knife hand out pointed straight out. We’ve all done it. Mocking the cartoonish absurdity of Drill Instructor mannerisms is actually kinda fun. Either that, or doing your best impression of the one trainee that could not handle a moment of pressure. Either way basic training turns us all into actors and comedians.
Drop an F-Bomb accidentally
This one is the most awkward. It will most likely happen it front of a pastor, or your grandma. Maybe even the sweet old lady at the gas station. Your military customs and curtseys implored you to hold the door open, and she’ll thank you whole heartedly. However, instead of saying “you’re welcome,” like a normal human being, you feel the need to insert some colorful language. “You’re f***ing welcome ma’am” slips out before you could reach out and grab it. Now you’re both standing there awkwardly and you’ll realize you now use profanity like punctuation.
Secretly miss it
You’ll notice when you go home, you’ve completely changed. Civilian troubles won’t seem to make sense. We listen to military podcast (like these) to keep in touch with the culture. However, civilian problems are mundane. As a result, you’ll get irritated by all the complaining and greed. The vanity and selfish nature is the opposite of everything you just experienced. In these moments, we all miss the tribe.
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