Alligator

Alligator escapes FL jail, possibly has COVID-19

Florida has been the subject of some crazy news. However, this one may take the cake. An Alligator mississippiensis, is more commonly known as the Florida gator. Recently, one is know by another name… Wanted fugitive.

Officers recently detaining an alligator has received global media blow back. The arrest occurred during a tense Florida protest. The charges we listed as “disturbing the peace” according to local sources. The suspect claims they were only there to show support for a human’s rights rally. A zoo translator tells us, the gator stated “we may be different species, but every Floridian deserves rights.”

Yet, police paint a different picture. A patrolman, who wishes to remain anonymous, tells us that the alligator was aggressive, and most likely high on bath salts. “That is fake news propaganda!” a representative of the Florida Alligators Registry Team (FART) responded. The group has vocalized many accusations of gator profiling.

However, the rep admits the gator in question has had a problem with bath salts in the past. Furthermore, that treatment and understanding is a better alternative to imprisonment. Some health experts have alternatively suggested the alligator may have COVID-19. Citing red glossy eyes as symptoms of both bath salts and coronavirus.

Nevertheless, the alligator did himself no favors by recently escaping a county jail. COVID-19 difficulties have stretched the jail staff to a breaking point. As a result, the gator was gone for 8 hours. This was before staff thought to check the security tapes. Police are currently searching for the fugitive. They have deployed all available airboats. Authorities urge residents to not approach the suspect, who they believe returned straight to his bath salts dealer.

The community reacts

There are mixed feelings from the inmates, and community alike. Some question if it was wise to house a gator with human inmates. Others are not so sure. Students at the University of Florida, known for their low morals and even lower test scores, have pledged to “buy the gator a beer” if he makes an appearance at a dorm party.

Do you think the gator is guilty or innocent? Sound off in the comments below!

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10 thoughts on “Alligator escapes FL jail, possibly has COVID-19”

  1. Avatar

    Believe the alligator is just a innocent bystander, just minding it’s own life. In a area in which we moved into. Relocation would be the best option for him

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  2. Avatar

    I’m appalled that you believe University of Florida students have low scores they cheat to some extent. Ask far as the gator he’s just trying to be like a squirrel and bust a nut.

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